Travelin' Texans

Wow, where has the time gone?

2011-10-11T17:35:00.000-07:00

We had a busy and wonderful summer. With it, there were camps, dance recitals and our trip to Texas. Everyone did really well until the last week (4th) when we all just wanted to be home. We traveled to Dallas, Austin and Houston visiting friends and family and museums. We enjoyed meeting some new friends who adopted children from Kazakhstan and our 'old' friends from childhood and college. We were on our trip from mid June to mid July so we could be back for Olivia's first overnight camp. She did great and we missed her but truthfully, it was a tad easier with just the 2 kids for that week.

I stressed all summer about Nicholas and who he would have for Kindergarten and how big would his class be. It turns out he has a wonderful, patient and understanding teacher. I was able to talk with her at length before the first day of school about Nicholas. I'm so proud of how well Nicholas is doing! The only goal he needs to work on is following directions and the teacher added 'sitting up at the carpet with feet on the ground'. He is right on target with all the academics and actually finds it easy. I am so glad we held him a year so he could mature and get used to rules, learn boundaries and work on self control. Academically he could have gone to Kindergarten last year as he is smart as a whip. As I look back, I see now that he was bored in preschool but at the same time it was good socially.

After the start of school, he is making friends. I never thought he would get along with his peers, according to his babyhouse in Kazakhstan, he didn't have friends and preferred to play alone. He has come so far in 2 years, he continues to amaze us. What a difference 2 years makes! He is still as full of energy as when we met him but he has calmed down. We have learned he is curious, he is loving and he is resilient.

At the end of summer,I was having a really rough time with Claire. I'm not sure if it was because of our unstructured schedule, being the middle child or what but things have improved especially after I signed her up for Tae Kwon Do at the same time as Nicholas. She was resistant to doing TKD but she enjoys going and I think it helps with her confidence and self esteem, issues that she always seems to struggle with. She is now in 2nd grade and is keeping up with class even though she is one of the youngest.

Olivia is doing well in school and is 9 going on 13, she has always been mature and independent. Now that she is in 4th grade her work load has increase. Fortunately we don't have to worry too much about her as long as she keeps up with all her work. She also is now taking 4 dance classes a week. She just enjoys these classes so much. She and Claire auditioned for the Nutcracker and received parts for this years production. They are excited despite all the rehearsals that are required.

It's hard to keep up with this blog

2011-06-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

I find so many other blogs much more interesting and I don't know if I have the heart or interest to keep this up.

I will try an update on the kids and our life. We had a wonderful spring this year. The kids have all been doing well in school (mostly the girls). Nicholas is sharp but has other issues which we haven't totally pinned down, I mean we have only known him for 2 years!

His counselor diagnosed him ADHD and an OT (occupational therapist) 'diagnosed' him with SPD (sensory processing disorder). I put that last one in quotes because it is not an official diagnosis in the diagnostic manual. He finished a social skills class called 'Dinosaur school' through the guidance clinic we go to and it was wonderful, it was based on 'The Incredible Years'. It made a huge difference for him in public situations, at home and at school. We also did a few sessions of OT which has helped us to figure out tools to help him. I have since read 'The Out of Sync Child' and similar books...great resources! To be truthful, we are missing a huge chunk of time with him and his early experiences were clearly deprived and not nurturing. We just can't put him in a box and we hope that he will not fall through the cracks in school.

Summer is here and with it, summer camps, dance rehearsals (and recitals), piano recitals and our BIG trip to Texas. I must be insane! The day after the girls' dance performance, we are hitting the road. We are driving to Texas for a 4 week vacation. You can see why I am insane, what am I thinking?! It will take us 3 days of easy driving (read 8 hours of driving while the kids ask 'how much longer' every 20 minutes) to reach Texas. Hubby will drive with us there...whew, thank goodness! He will spend part of the time with us but will have to fly back and work. He will fly back to drive with us back home.

Truly the kids are excellent travelers and it sure helps that we can have movies, games, snacks in the car. Our plan is to spend about a week in the Dallas area, then the kids and I will caravan down to Austin with friends where we will spend about 5 days. We will then return to Dallas for the 4th of July weekend, spend more time in Dallas and Fort Worth, then off to Houston for a long weekend. We will finish off the rest of our trip in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I will let you know if I survive!

After our BIG trip, the kids will start right away with VBS (Olivia), guitar camp(Claire) and summer preschool (Nicholas-3 weeks). Olivia will also be going to church camp for a week, exciting and nerve-wracking for me. Then it will just be a few more weeks till school starts.

Stay tuned...

A few recent pictures of the kids...

2011-04-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

What's up!

2011-03-09T18:15:00.001-08:00

I get on here dozens of times but just can't seem to find the right thing to post. I do want to update so no one thinks we fell off the face of the earth!

This week is turning out to be a beautiful spring-like week. We have been spending time outside. It's especially nice now that I recovered from a bad cold. It sucks being sick when you have 3 kiddos to take care of and shuttle around town. Thankfully hubby helped out some so I could try to rest.

Life in our house is good, occasionally there are some more difficult days, but isn't that normal? Sometimes we struggle with Claire's angst over being the middle child, we often hear "Nobody loves me" regardless of how often we tell her we love her very much. Sometimes we struggle with Olivia's need for growing independence. It's really hard to see your kid grow up and not need you as much but they need to learn some things on their own.

Lately, I've been reading "The Winter of our Disconnect...", that's right Disconnect and it's prompted me to start our own experiment. I decided the kids would not have any screen time during the school week, Monday through Thursday. This means no TV, no computer and no video games. I try not to watch TV till the kids are in bed. I have to say, it's been really nice, somehow the kids find something to do among our gazillion toys, games, art supplies, etc. They play together well and use their imagination. It even prompted the girls to become more interested in knitting (for a short time).

I can't leave out an update for Nicholas. He is doing well, some days really great and some days are more challenging. We've been seeing the dermatologist and the allergist quite a bit. He has been on a gluten free diet since the past summer due to some digestive issues, it seems he might have a gluten intolerance. We found out he is mildly allergic to many things so we had to put him on daily allergy medication and additional Benadryl when needed. He also has sensitive skin, has had eczema on his hands and his scalp. Since he has been home, we have been fighting with some warts on his hands. He had one on his palm but after continuing to put his hands in his mouth, they spread some on his hands and his face.

He recently finished his social skills class through the local child guidance clinic. He was diagnosed with ADHD so now we are working to get an IEP through the school hopefully. He is eager to learn but I can see he often has a difficult time focusing and staying on task and he is constantly on the move. We also saw an OT and it seems he could have SPD as well, that is sensory processing disorder. I'm currently reading 'The Out of Sync Child' to get some tips. I think he will do well with right kind of assistance.

Nicholas recently lost 2 teeth around the same time as Claire. He just learned to ride a 2-wheel bike and quickly caught on. He has also been able to build with Lego's really well. He can build a small set with just some prompting and some reminders to follow the instructions. It's amazing to remember how just a year and a half ago he could barely draw a scribble!

Key Largo, FL for winter holidays

2011-02-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

We spent a couple of days in Key Largo, FL during the winter break. It was so nice to have family time together at a place that was relaxing.

Another Kaz meetup!

2011-02-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

I forgot about meeting the Cech family for the 2nd time back in November. We met up at Fairytale Land in Sacramento. It was so nice because the girls had someone to play with too. It was so nice to talk to other parents going through similar issues. The kids all had fun and we got some great pictures.

Kaz meetups

2011-01-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

In 2010 we were fortunate to meetup with other families who also adopted from Kazakhstan. Here are some pictures. These first couple of pictures are taken in Texas when we had the pleasure of meeting Ryland and his parents, he had just arrived home. We hope we can meet up with them again and see how much he has changed. They were all so kind.

Here is a family we met in California. Although their Nikko is from Japan, the boys were adopted around the same age and time. I think they have an instant bond. Their oldest daughter is from Kazakhstan and the youngest daughter is from Japan like Nikko. It was so wonderful to connect with a family who also adopted an 'older' child from another country. I hope we continue to build our friendship!

I dedicate this post to my BIO friends.

2010-11-30T11:40:00.000-08:00

For those of you that have no clue what I'm writing about, I am referring to an extraordinary group of women. Many of us met online around the beginning of 2004 when we were pregnant. I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child on February 14, 2004 and came across an internet message board of other women pregnant at the same time. I think we were on a Due in October board. We eventually became the Born In October 2004 message board, although some of the children were born in September or November or even others who came later and didn't even have a child born in the same year.

Yes, we have had some weirdos stalk our forum and some drifted away but we have had a few new ones join through friends. Many have had difficult times with a death of a dear one, losing a job, getting divorced, very ill children but we have remained together supporting each other through these times and the joyous times. Learning about the children making friends, going to school, new siblings,etc. I have personally met several of these wonderful ladies and it amazes me how we are instant friends even though it is the first time we met in person. I guess you would say we have developed a special 'cyber' bond! I just wish more of us could meet in person.

I recently met up with 2 of these ladies when we travelled up north. It was so wonderful to spend time together and our husbands even enjoyed each others' company. I can't believe I met up with one of these ladies at the Oakland zoo 6 years ago in 2004 when we were pregnant. We had a few things in common including daughters named 'Olivia'!

BIO 2004 moms, you are the best!

More pictures from fall 2010

2010-11-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

Making a volcano.

Local county fair.

Cotillion 2010

Peaceful

Santa Barbara zoo

Fall is flying by!

2010-11-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

I just don't seem to have as much time as I used to, gee, I wonder why?! In October we celebrated birthdays of our youngest 2. Nicholas had a My Gym party with a few friends. While it was not a disaster, it was a bit stressful because Nicholas still has a hard time with group structured activities. He did love the free play time and having all the attention. He has been on a gluten free diet since the summer so we ended up ordering a cupcake birthday cake and I made some gluten free cupcakes and was able to use extra frosting to stick one in for him.

Claire celebrated her 6th birthday with a special tea party for several friends. She had been asking for this kind of party for at least 2 years so she thoroughly enjoyed her party, big smiles the whole time!
Halloween 2010

Santa Barbara zoo

The girls are doing great in school, they received glowing remarks from their teachers at the end of the first quarter. Claire needs to improve her handwriting and her talking (too much), but overall, her teacher said she is doing great. Olivia is a model student and growing up too fast. Nicholas is improving so much, we owe much of this to his weekly social skills class and lots of hard work.

'Meant to be....'

2010-09-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

One Year Ago

Today

I have wanted to write so much about the past year but life is so much busier (and richer) now. It's also just so hard to put into words all my thoughts. I came up with the title of this post based on something Claire told me on the way home from Texas. We were somewhere in New Mexico or Arizona staying one night in a hotel. We were swimming in the pool and Claire says to me “Mama, you know, Nicholas and I were meant to be brother and sister. We’re good brother and sister even if he wasn’t in your tummy.” Wow, isn’t that awesome?!

Exactly a year ago, we were arriving in America with one of its newest citizens, Nicholas Roma. I go back and look at those pictures and Nicholas looks so different. He just looks so shell shocked. Now, the first 6 months especially were very challenging with him, but he is doing so well and is so happy. I think he is resilient and a testament to how the human spirit can overcome a difficult start in life.

I will never forget the first day we came together as a family on September 12, 2009. All 3 of us were so jetlagged, but especially Nicholas. We arrived home to an empty house after the drive from LA. Nicholas was amazed at everything in our house and kept saying 'spaseeba' (thank you)over and over. At one point he was searching through the house while asking a question in Russian or Kazakh. He broke down in his room and all I could do was try to rock him and soothe him although we were trying to learn how we could best comfort him. It is so much different with an adopted child than a bio child. I managed to soothe him a bit and it was about this time that our friends arrived with our girls.

Well, when they arrived with their bags, Nicholas ran out to greet them on our walkway and hugged Claire like they were long lost brother and sister. Unfortunately I totally missed this special moment. He was so happy to see the girls, maybe he was worried he would be by himself. I can't imagine what was going through his mind and body when he first arrived. He is just so young to really comprehend what is happening. He started showing all the toys to the girls as if they were arriving for the first time, too, it was the funniest thing to see him say 'smotree' (look) and show all the toys. Claire kept saying 'I know that'!

In the very beginning, he was like a wild thing just getting into everything, throwing toys, overflowing the toilet, burning his fingers on the hot stove, exploding in tantrums, biting/kicking/spitting while I was trying to restrain him but at the same time he was amazed at new things like toys, airplanes in the sky, so much food, new foods like strawberries, tacos, sandwiches, fun parks, etc. At first he was stubborn about learning English and insisted on calling an airplane 'samolyot'. Of course, he had to learn English and he did learn so quickly!

Physically, Nicholas is very healthy. He has had some digestive issues as well as some other symptoms, though. This summer he went to an allergist who determined through a blood test that he is either allergic or has an intolerance to gluten. The doctor recommended a gluten/lactose free diet and since then he has not had the runny nose he used to have. In the past year he has grown at least 7 inches and put on about 4-5 pounds.

He has changed so much over the year he has been here, not just physically but also emotionally. More of his true personality emerges with time. Deep down we can see he is a caring and sweet boy. He truly wants to please us and is willing to learn. Every morning he is happy for another day and he enjoys going to preschool. He usually greets his teacher with big hugs and starts his day at school at full speed.

I am so glad we made the decision to send him to preK again this year as opposed to Kindergarten (in CA he would be eligible for Kindergarten since he turns 5 before December 1st). He is learning lots of social skills and enjoying more play time. I know he will not be as stressed to start Kindergarten in 2011 and will not have to struggle to catch up.

He has learned so much about living in America, a new language, living in a family, etc. He is not the only one to learn, as I feel like I have learned so much. I've learned about unconditional love, I've learned about real parenting, I've learned about dysregulation and regulation and I've learned about the resiliency of children. And I've learned how, oh, how different boys are from girls. It's a whole other world!

During our challenges, I have tried to access all the resources I could find. I've relied on other adoptive parents, adoption and parenting books, our pastor, counselors and friends. We are lucky Nicholas qualified for the 0-5 years program at a local guidance clinic. He just began a weekly social skills class based on 'The Incredible Years' curriculum for early intervention. I think we have also been fortunate that he has had 2 really great teachers at his preschool. Nothing can completely prepare you for this journey but for adoptive parents out there, keep an open mind, read different types of adoption books, learn about attachment parenting, talk to other adoptive parents.

We are definitely settling into our new normal and can't imagine our lives any different!

Summer Fun 2010

2010-09-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, the summer flew by. We had a busy and fun summer. Nicholas started summer school at his preschool, the girls finished off the academic year with performances in their ballet school’s Gala, the girls also did some summer day camps with friends and the girls attended VBS at a friend’s church. For the 4th of July holiday, we made our usual trip up to Sacramento to spend time with extended family. We also had the pleasure of meeting another adoptive family who had adopted 3 children from Asia including an older boy about Nicholas’ age. We met at a park and it was so nice for the kids to have kids to play with and it felt like we had that instant bond that adoptive families have, especially those that adopt ‘older’ kids.

The summer started off well with lots of activity and lots of swimming. Swimming lessons were in order for Nicholas but it turned out he is half fish and he learned to swim really quickly. We did have some challenges with Nicholas when he started back to summer school. He had a really hard time with the transitions of one teacher leaving, changing classrooms, new class, etc. Also, hubby and I took a much needed weekend away to the coast while Grandma and Grandpa stayed with the kids. This was also the first week for Nicholas to meet Grandma and Grandpa in person. We thought he might be expelled from preschool due to some aggression, fortunately the school staff was patient and understanding of our situation and Nicholas was able to attend 2 sessions as we planned.

By mid July we were packing our bags and getting ready for our ‘annual’ trek across the Southwest so we could spend 3 weeks in Texas. We had a great time and Nicholas did better than I ever expected. We spent one night in Amarillo with my dear friend, D, then headed for the Big ‘D’ to spend some quality time with hubby’s family. Some of his family had never met Nicholas in person. It was so much fun to see all the little cousins playing together. One morning all the girls made a special shopping trip to the American Girl store while the boys went the airplane museum near Love Field. While in Dallas, we spent time with family and a few friends. We also had the pleasure of meeting a family who had just brought their almost 5 year old home from Kazakhstan. I’m sure it was confusing for him but he was a sweet boy and I hope we get to see them the next time we travel to Texas. We also visited Houston and Austin; we enjoyed time with dear friends, swimming, and museums. On the way home, we stopped at Carlsbad Caverns and enjoyed a long hike into the dark caverns.

All in all, we had a wonderful trip, we wanted to go home yet 3 weeks was not enough time to enjoy all the swimming, fun times with friends, Blue Bell ice cream, Tex Mex food, etc. Nicholas did really well during the trip and had a good time and can't wait to go to Grandpa and Grandma's again.

More pictures to come later...

Little Brother

2010-07-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Nicholas did well during Olivia's party, I even got him a special gluten free, lactose free cupcake from Whole Foods that he gobbled up. He got so worn out by the excitement, he crashed on the floor after his bath!

Our Baby turned 8!

2010-07-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

Olivia turned 8 on July 1st, time goes by so fast! We had her birthday party in June and it was decided she would have a Swim/Spa/Sleepover party with some of her friends. I wanted to keep it small so 5 of her friends were able to attend. Claire was allowed to invite a friend, too, to the party in the hopes they would occupy themselves. My thoughts were that the swimming would wear the girls out, the spa treatment would calm and soothe them, and they would fall asleep during the movie....WRONG! I guess they were so excited by everything, it was hard to settle them down. Everything went really well through the spa treatment (after pizza, cake and gifts), the girls just loved all the special treatment. I had a couple of young women home from college help out with the pedicure/manicure station. The girls were all a bit too tired which probably contributed to their mood as I was trying to settle them down. Fortunately no one ended up going home early and everyone woke up happy. If I did this again, I would send them home after the spa treatment!

One Year Ago Today

2010-06-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

THEN!

I can't believe it was a year ago that my hubby and I were celebrating our 10 year anniversary in Almaty, Kazakhstan. It is the day we also started bonding with our son, Nicholas (then called Roma). He has been home 9 months and it has been filled with many challenges and many joys. He is teaching us about how the human spirit can overcome challenges and he continues to teach us about parenting! Some days and weeks can be rough when he is dysregulated and angry, then he can turn around and become so sweet and loving and joyful about life. I hope with time that we will see his sweet and funny personality more and more.

He is so bright! His speech and vocabulary amazes everyone when they find out he has only been here 9 months. Some people do not realize he was adopted internationally. He is always trying to figure out how things work. He will study a toy car's tire to see how it spins or as last night at Olivia's ballet recital, he was trying to figure out which lights were pointed to different points on stage. He is interested in books and words and is definitely pre-reading, although, he would rather build with blocks, or play a video game, or build guns or watch a movie. He is still very active, although I'm not sure he is hyperactive as he was diagnosed in Kazakhstan. Rather he is hypervigilent, especially in new situations and around new people.

The girls really love Nicholas and for Claire he has become a playmate. I have noticed recently that Nicholas wants to stay near me. When we went to the beach, he and Claire would play near the water for awhile while I watched and kept calling them to stay nearby. Then Nicholas wanted to dig in the sand but near me. He also comes to find me in the house to show me something or to see what I'm doing, I know this is a sign of him 'checking in' with me. We have developed a deep level of trust and I can tell he has bonded well with all of us. I think we are fortunate that he only spent about 10 months in the babyhouse, he must have bonded closely with his birthmother sometime before that.

He is a great little traveler. When we go on trips, he gets so excited and he is getting better about staying close to us when we go to places where there are crowds. Although he has gotten better, he is not at a place where he can go to Disneyland yet. The girls miss it since we used to go a lot, but maybe one of us can take the girls just for one day. We know Nicholas will love Disneyland, but it would be too much for him and too stressful for him (well, us, too) at this point. Hopefully within the next year we will see more improvement.

He has been in summer preschool at his same preschool but he had some difficulty with this transition. I think it was especially hard that his teacher left on vacation as he became attached to her. She was so good with him, but he will see her when school starts again. Although she is a fabulous preschool teacher, I think it will be good for him to have a different teacher. He needs to learn that he will have different people in his life and he will move on when he goes off to Kindergarten after another year of preschool.

With the end of the school year, hubby and I took a much needed weekend away together while his parents stayed with the kids. With that and the transition to summer preschool, Nicholas had a really hard time. The grandparents stayed for a few days and then left, but came back about a week later with the kids' cousin who stayed for several days. Nicholas got into trouble a lot at school for biting and hitting and one incident of spitting. We focused on what he can do when he gets mad and that he absolutely has to share and take turns. Maybe this was a step back, but things have gotten better again after our visitors left and he continues to move forward.

We are looking forward to having a fun summer of camps, trips and of just enjoying our backyard pool and playdates.

NOW!

Pictures from Easter 2010

2010-05-02T10:03:00.001-07:00

Spring Break 2010

2010-04-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

During part of spring break, we made a trip to the San Francisco Bay area. We had a great time at Pier 39 watching the sea lions that have returned. We also took a tour of the USS Jeremiah O'Brien Liberty Ship, something we may never have done if Nicholas wasn't with us. It was really interesting and we had fun exploring the working ship. After visiting the Bay area, we headed toward Monterey.

We all thoroughly enjoyed the Monterey Bay Aquarium. We would have gone to the beach, too, if it hadn't started raining in the afternoon.

6 months later

2010-03-12T10:25:00.001-08:00

I'll be honest, the last 6 months have been very stressful for all of us as would be expected when bringing a new child into our family. I feel like we are all adjusting well though. Nicholas has been in preschool since the beginning of January and is loving it (me too :p). The girls have been keeping up with school, ballet, friends and Olivia started piano lessons again. It seems like we are all settling into our new life.

I think one of the biggest adjustments is just having 3 kids instead of 2, I'm just stretched more thin these days and I'm spending most of my time in a car driving here and there. Olivia is growing up fast and has had moments of extreme upset, and I know this will happen more often each year as she creeps up towards puberty.

Claire loves having a little brother...most of the time. He loves his sisters and it is wonderful to see him give them big hugs when we have to pick them up from school. Claire and Nicholas fight a lot, but when they are playing nicely together, it is really nice. She loves that he can go to the same Sunday school class. And Nicholas is learning a lot from everyone. What we can see so far is that he is bright and eager to learn, he is always asking 'Why?' these days...I mean all day. He wants to know how things work and why we do things or why we can't do things. He just has a lot to catch up on the emotional side of things. He sometimes acts like an infant, sometimes, like a toddler and sometimes his chronological age.

One of the things that has helped me is that I am learning to shift my way of thinking in parenting Nicholas. Giving consequences and threatening punishment does not work with Nicholas so I've been trying to follow Heather Forbes' Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control method of parenting. It takes a lot of work to shift my way of thinking but I think I have been successful with it. Her method is backed up by research of stress on the brain.

When I look at Nicholas, I am just amazed at his progress. He has a large vocabulary for someone only learning English for 6 months. He is happy and nowadays when he gets angry, he usually gets over it rather quickly especially when I can distract him. I am so glad we ended up telling our coordinator we were open to older children. When I think back to when we first met him in that first stressful week in Kazakhstan, I remember meeting him and feeling a connection with him. His smile was so cute and I could see he had the ability to be happy and I had the feeling he was a resilient little boy.

He is a really sweet boy and at school, I'm told he'll go check on a friend if he sees someone is hurt. He also readily apologizes if he accidentally (or on purpose) hurts someone while playing. Now, with his sisters....not so much... He is eager to please, especially with me. Sometimes it takes a little more work to get him to help clean up, but sometimes he jumps at the opportunity to help out. He is a really active little boy and seems a bit hyper to me, but it could just be his age and circumstances and he might calm down some more.

He still doesn't understand where he came from or what has happened to him. I try to talk about it and show him pictures from Kazakhstan when he is open to it. I want him to know where he is from and how he became a part of our family, I don't want him to think we were the ones that left him in an orphanage. One of my favorite children's book about adoption is called "A Mother for Choco". It really fits our situation. I highly recommend it to other Adoptive families, it would be good for a multi-ethnic family, single mom, or family.

Some of his favorites things include: cars, helicopters, airplanes, bouncing, sea animals, swimming, the park, play doh, a bit of drawing, digging, treasure hunts, watching tv (especially Mickey Mouse clubhouse and Little Einsteins) or dvds (Finding Nemo, Cars, Barbie Three Musketeers). That last might crack you up, but I think he likes the swashbuckling aspect of that movie, I don't think he cares about Barbie!

The Beach-February 2010

2010-03-01T20:18:00.000-08:00

Valentine's weekend, we decided to make a trip down to L.A. I signed Nicholas up for a research study at UCLA, so my hubby decided to take advantage of this time and take the girls to the American Girl store for lunch and shopping. We also decided to hit the beach first and go to the La Brea tar pits on the last day. We first ended up in Malibu at Paradise Cove...a friend of mine recommended it. There's a cafe right on the beach, so you can play in the sand and surf while you wait for your table. It was fun! This was our first trip to the beach this year. Nicholas wanted to get right in and swim, the kid has no fear. He kept getting wetter and wetter as time passed on. Thankfully we had lots of extra clothes. We had so much fun!

An Extraordinary Life

2010-02-12T23:25:00.001-08:00

So it's been 5 months that we've been home and there is really not alot to add from last month, things are about the same and they change daily! Mostly I am just very busy from 6:30am till about 8pm when the kids are ALL in bed sleeping soundly, then I veg out a while and maybe I'll get at least one thing done. It has been really hard to adjust to a family with 3 active kids and try and keep on top of all the activities, schoolwork, carpooling details and housework so I'm learning to let things go a bit. None of us are perfect.

I think I am making a turning point in my relationships with our kids, at least I am trying to improve our relationship. I also now understand when other adoptive parents who talk about how lucky they are to have their adopted child in their life. Sure Nicholas has a great life with us, but he has changed us forever and we continually learn about love. I feel so lucky he is with us and teaching us so much and I'm beginning to appreciate what an extraordinary life I am leading.

I'll leave you with this picture I took as Nicholas and I were walking through the UCLA campus on Valentine's Day:

It's all about LOVE my friends!!

A Visit to the Airport

2010-02-06T21:34:00.000-08:00

No, we weren't planning to take a trip. A friend and I planned a special outing for our sons to visit the local airport. A friend of mine who is a pilot and used to work at the airport took us on a tour of the airport where the private and charter planes are housed. This was exciting because Nicholas likes anything that flies and would love to ride in an airplane again. I joke that the only reason he left Kazakhstan with us is so he could fly on an airplane!

Claire's tonsillectomy

2010-02-06T13:58:00.000-08:00

Back in November Claire had surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. Her snoring became so bad I felt it was affecting her sleep. I was really nervous for our child to have anesthesia and surgery but I knew it would be beneficial to her health. The first couple of days were rough but she is a real trooper and bounced back really quick. She started eating soft foods about a day or 2 after the surgery. The surgeon said the tonsils and adenoids were really big. Her voice changed and has never been the same as before, her voice is a bit higher pitched and she doesn't sound nasally anymore. Right after surgery, I notice how quietly she slept, it was amazing. She has also been eating alot more and not complaining as much about her food. It must have been hard for her to swallow some things. I only had my old phone with me and took a couple of these post op pictures.

I'm glad I finally talked my hubby into staying home that day because she needed my constant care and Nicholas was still very demanding at that point. It was nice to give Claire my attention and baby her a little.

Some Firsts for Nicholas...

2010-01-15T22:38:00.000-08:00

First hotel stay.

First family car trip.

First birthday party for his buddy, L, at My Gym. He LOVED it, it was a great place to bounce, jump, climb, run, catch bubbles, etc.

First day of preschool.

4 months update

2010-01-12T08:52:00.000-08:00

Wow, I can't believe we have been a family of 5 for 4 months now and it's time for another update ( I will post pictures in a different post, after all, that's really why you check my blog, right???). The time has gone by fast. We are all doing well. Nicholas is very happy and has been really growing. He is now about a size 4, up from about a size 2 when we first met him. He looks so much healthier in relation to his age. He started preschool last week and will attend from 9am to 1pm Monday through Friday. He really likes his teacher and he had fun as they have things he enjoys during free play. He is also learning to follow direction and rules and how to play with other children.

Yesterday afternoon, after the girls finished their homework, Nicholas wanted to work on a perler bead project. This is an activity that really helps with fine motor skills, something he needs to improve. He kept asking for help over and over and since I was helping Olivia with her homework, I told him Claire could help. He didn't want Claire's help, he kept asking for me over and over to help. I finally told him he needed to start it, do as much as he can and then I would help. Well, I was astonished that he continued to stay focused on this task and finished all by himself! I am so proud of him. Claire also did a perler bead project and I'm so proud she even did a nice pattern on the flower instead of just random colors. Olivia (with just a little help from mom) made a Panda out of polymer clay for her teacher's birthday. It turned out really cute and she really did most of the work on it.

I am reflecting back on the last 4 months and to be honest, there have been difficult moments. The beginning was rough as I compare Nicholas to an alien having been dropped into our planet. Can you imagine being almost 4 and being taken away from everything you know even if it wasn't that great there? The food in your new home is all different, the language is all different, the rules are all different and you don't understand anything. All you know is this nice Mama and Papa are taking you for a plane ride and you will be living with them. And they are not always nice because they don't let you eat apples all day and they tell you 'no' a lot. Will you have to go back to the babyhouse? Why are you going for a ride in the car? What is going to happen next?

Everything was so new to Nicholas and in the beginning there were a lot of tantrums, I mean kicking, biting, spitting tantrums that lasted for a long time and often. There was also a lot of turning on and off of lights, discovering the refrigerator, stove, faucets, and other appliances. We had to really babyproof our house again, putting dangerous things away, decluttering, finding ways to lock up cabinets. I really worried about day to day things during the beginning, like how was I going to take a shower and get ready, what about taking the girls to and from school, getting to the grocery store, etc. In the beginning, I locked the door to our master bedroom and closed the girls's doors as there was still a lot of things he could get in to and we also had to make sure our house doors were childproof. I ended up taking a shower and getting ready in the kids bathroom while I had Nicholas watch a Baby Einstein video for about 20 minutes.

Now, he understands more of what his boundaries are and I think it was important to work not only on bonding but on boundaries and what is expected. We also had to teach him toilet 'etiquette', turning on/off lights, water, etc. while building our bond and trust with him. I feel so lucky that we had so many friends help us out in the beginning with offers of help with the girls, meals, offers of getting groceries for us. This is what we needed the most, more than new toys or clothes for Nicholas. We needed help just so we could focus on Nicholas and really be there for him during this huge transition for him.

It's so amazing to think back to 4 months and look at Nicholas now, playing happily by himself, happily sometimes with Claire, playing with his buddy, having fun experiencing new things like Christmas, parties, trips with a stay in a hotel, etc. He is just so happy. He is also a very sweet and loving boy. A parent from his school told me he accidentally kicked a ball in her chest as she walked through the playground and he ran up to her and told her 'Are you okay? I'm so sorry!'. There are still challenges as the times when he is defiant and tells us 'no' just to say 'no' but we are working on that. Hubby and I have had to struggle with parenting, adjust our strategy and it has been stressful but we love each other and our kids and we strive to make it all work. I feel lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful family, kids who want to contribute to our family, kids who who are eager to learn and who are loving and a husband who is involved and supportive of all of us. I also feel we are blessed to have so many friends, church friends, family and even strangers supporting us through their prayers for us.

Helping in the kitchen

2010-01-10T11:55:00.001-08:00

I was inspired by another adoptive family who had their son help make truffles. I remember having Olivia help me in the kitchen when she was really young and it's always fun to see them experience something new, get messy, and enjoy helping. So I've started having Nicholas help me more in the kitchen so he feels a part of our family and also to learn practical skills, stirring, pouring, cutting, etc. I hope this will help him with some of his fine motor skills. Here are some pictures and video of the kids helping to make truffles in December.

First week back at school

2010-01-09T09:17:00.000-08:00

Whew, the first week back at school is over. It was also Nicholas' first week at preschool. The girls were anxious to go back to school to see their friends and Nicholas was so excited to go to school like the girls. It was really tough with a new schedule even though I had about 2 hours to myself. It was really nice to have a little time to myself, but that time goes so fast.

January 2

2010-01-01T09:03:00.000-08:00

We are leaving Sacramento after celebrating the New Year Japanese-American style with my hubby's extended family. We had an awesome trip! Truthfully, I was anxious about how the trip would go and how Nicholas would be on his first trip. I'm so glad we chose to stay in a hotel, it was nice for us to be all together and be able to get away from a lot of new people (for Nicholas). I cannot even begin to tell you how good it feels to have such a great trip, this really bodes well for our future trips and adventures.

On our trip, Nicholas kept saying, "I so happy", "Mama so happy", I think he had a really good time. I could see he did get overstimulated and didn't know what to do with himself sometimes. He was happy most of the time and especially enjoyed swimming at the hotel pool. Today, we took him to the train museum and he really liked it, except he kept saying 'oh, the trains are broke', I don't think he fully understands the concept of a museum.

As we make our trek back home, I can't help but remember this time last year when we went to the Secretary of State's office to apostille all of our documents for our dossier. While Nicholas was in a babyhouse halfway around the world, we were finishing up our paperwork and thinking about our son to be. Incredible.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-28T14:05:00.001-08:00

The day began with many squeals of delight as the kids discovered all the goodies Santa left for them, including a letter thanking them for the cookies and milk. The kids loved everything they received from friends, family and 'Santa'. Nicholas really got into the knack of opening presents and was impatient to take turns opening gifts. It was a busy day because I was trying to cook a nice Christmas meal, but the kids needed help with some of the new toys or games. The day ended in tears and tantrums though as everyone became tired and overstimulated from the excitement of it all. It was still a wonderful Christmas, one we will not forget!

Here Comes Santa Claus...

2009-12-18T23:36:00.000-08:00

Wednesday evening I heard about a boys baseball team having a fundraiser in which we could have pictures taken with Santa Claus. I thought about taking Nicholas to the Santa in the mall, but I really wanted to get a picture with all the kids. So Wednesday evening after dinner we headed over to a local shopping center. We walk up and Nicholas is so excited he can hardly contain himself. When it's our turn, he runs up to Santa, while shouting, 'Santa' and literally jumps into his lap. I was about to bawl right there to see Nicholas so excited. Olivia and Claire, on the other hand, nonchalantly walk up to Santa Claus and we get pictures with Santa. Nicholas starts talking very excitedly to the surprised Santa and I hear words like helicopter, toys, cars from Nicholas.

It was a wonderful moment and afterward the kids bought hot chocolate and cookies.

More pictures of the apartment in Almaty

2009-12-18T18:05:00.000-08:00

Pictures of the inside of the apartment. As we open the door, the bathroom is directly in front. To the right was the kitchen, eating nook and continuing past that was the bedroom where we slept. If we made a left from the entrance, there was an extra room which is where Nicholas slept and played. There was a TV which offered a wide variety of shows in Russian. Occasionally we came across American cartoons in English or the discovery channel.

Bathroom:
Extra room (a.k.a Nicholas' bedroom and playroom)
Our bedroom:
Kitchen:
Eating nook:
The apartment was comfortable enough. The kitchen was fairly equipped with a handful of pots and pans and utensils, plates, cups. There was a small but adequate refrigerator. There was a microwave, stove and oven. I wish we had brought more tupperware type containers. I ended up buying a set there and it was pricey. I never could figure out the oven, so I just cooked everything on the stove or in the microwave. There was no washer and dryer so one night I washed some things in the tub and we used a clothing line and clothespins (which I brought) to hang the clothes. We also used plastic hangers, these actually came in handy on all our trips as there wasn't enough in the hotel to hang everything and we used these to dry clothes, too. All the things I had read about the towels were true, they were a bit rough and worn. I don't remember the sheets as too uncomfortable despite everything I read about the sheets .

Our apartment was in a really great location near most everything. It was close to the Silkway mall, there was a small grocery store nearby and the Green Market was about a 20 minute walk. The walk to Panfilov park was about 20 minutes but it seemed longer when we had Nicholas with us. The Mamma Mia restaurant was around the corner from the apartment. It was also pretty close to TSUM otherwise called The Central Department Store which has a great selection of souvenirs on the very top floor.

Entering our apartment in Almaty

2009-12-15T11:24:00.001-08:00

Notice the difference in the various height between steps? We saw that all over the city and forget being accessible to people with wheelchairs, etc. We were on the top floor, no elevator, I think it was the 4th or 5th floor.

Our Gotcha Day

2009-12-15T09:17:00.000-08:00

So I'm a little behind in posting about our last trip to Kazakhstan. I guess I was reminiscing after Skyping with a friend of mine who is in Almaty in the process of adopting a little boy.

Our last flight from LAX on our way to Kazakhstan.

Getting dressed and ready to go:

Posing with Mommy and Maigul at Almaty Babyhouse 2:

Posing with our coordinator, Tatyana, and the Babyhouse Director/Doctor.

Happy to be leaving the baby house FOREVER!

I thought I would post a picture of these picture magnets I made for Nicholas, I think the most important ones were the ones showing emotion and pictures of everyone in our family. They helped a little with the language barrier. I brought these and a magnetic board to Kazakhstan to try to help him understand day to day activities.

Nutcracker 2009

2009-12-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

Olivia was a Bon Bon again this year in the Nutcracker and so she was thankfully only in 1 cast (out of 2). Like last year, she had a lot of fun performing and being backstage. I took Nicholas to see the Young People Concert where they only show a few of the scenes and bus kids in from schools and he enjoyed watching it, especially the battle scene with the mice and soldiers. Later, I took a picture of him by the cannon as this was one of his favorite parts!

We got tickets for the last afternoon show and Nicholas did pretty well. He stayed interested throughout Act I, but was squirmy. Act II was harder as it's a bit slower for kids and we had to wait towards the end of Act II to see Olivia dance in the Mother Ginger scene.

Wow! 3 months have gone by so fast...

2009-12-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

Nicholas is just such a different child than the child we met in the orphanage. He is still a very active, rambunctious boy, but sweeter and even more loving than when we first met him. He is developing very well in all areas but still needs work in socializing and in discipline.

We are so lucky that I have been able to stay home with him, I think that has been the best for him so he could get used to family life. Lately, he keeps asking to go to school, especially when I drop Claire off at daycare. In January, he will start going to preschool. I think we found a good fit for him, although it is not the Montessori school where I expected to send him and where the girls attended. This particular school has much smaller classes and the teacher for his class has been there for 13 years. The director adopted a 4 year old girl from Russia about 6 years ago, so they are familiar with language issues, etc.

This past summer when we met Nicholas, one thing that struck me was the way he hung his head down. Now, he holds his head up high. He is still a very active boy, but is able to focus on some activities, too, especially with his TRIO blocks. He is better at obeying his mom and dad and is really loving. Yesterday and today, he has been giving hugs. He was also telling me 'mama happy' and 'Nicholas happy'.

This summer we notice Nicholas was barely able to make a scribble with a crayon, and now he can draw bats, spiders, sun, sharks on our driveway with sidewalk chalk. He rides his tricycle like a maniac and I *think* Santa might be bringing him a bicycle for Christmas...he is going to love it!

I've asked the girls what they think about having a little brother and Claire says 'good', Olivia says 'good' with a little more hesitation. Claire and Nicholas fight a lot as siblings do, but I really think Claire loves having him as a brother, she asked that he start coming to church because they would be in the same Sunday School class. Olivia is like a little mommy to Nicholas, she rushes to him anytime he gets hurt. I think her hesitation has more to do with her just being older and wanting to have some privacy and space.

All in all, I think everything is going very well, I can't believe it has only been 3 months.

Decorating a gingerbread house:

Fun at our church's Christmas workshop:

First haircut, before picture, during and after:

Thankful for so much....

2009-11-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving, Nicholas and I spent at home together, it was nice and quiet. Hubby took the girls to the family Thanksgiving so they could spend time with extended family. I ended up cooking our Thanksgiving meal on Wednesday so we could enjoy it together before the girls and their dad left on Thursday. The kids ate all their food without a single complaint...a major accomplishment in our house!

While the rest of the family was gone, Nicholas and I played outside with a neighbor, went to the park and played at home. I was also able to get some laundry and cleaning done around the house. Some firsts for Nicholas, we played Candyland together...Nicholas won fair and square. He also drew pictures of bats and spiders on our driveway with our Neighbor's 3rd grade son. This is so amazing in that this summer, he could barely even make a scribble with a crayon.

Yesterday, I managed what I thought was an impossible feat...I was able to get Nicholas to take a nap! Both Nicholas and I have minor colds and he got up at 5:30 in the morning yesterday. So after a big lunch, we settled down on the twin bed in his room for a book, then we laid down with the blanket over us and after about 30 minutes, he fell asleep. I feel like Super Mom after this. He napped for about 2 hours, but then it took him a long time to go to sleep at bedtime. We aren't completely sure if this was due to the nap or the vaporizer we put in his room. I think he was worried about the vaporizer because of the noise and steam coming from it.

As I reflect on Thanksgiving, I can't help but be thankful for my family. My husband, who works so hard to provide us all the extras we enjoy, our kids who give us such joy and all of our friends for their support over the last year.

Laundry Day

2009-11-24T14:54:00.000-08:00

First Dentist visit

2009-11-18T18:19:00.000-08:00

Nicholas did very well at the dentist and he received an 'A' for taking such good care of his teeth. The dentist saw one spot that he will check again in 6 months. He did great throughout the entire visit and only had difficulty with 2 of the xray for his back teeth.

What a difference 2 months makes!

2009-11-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's 2 months already?! It's amazing how much things change with some love, nutrition and time. To the girls, he is their little brother. To us, his parents, he is our son.

Nicholas is starting to call himself Nicholas sometimes or Nicholas Roma. We are getting used to his new name, too. His English is coming along and I even hear him spouting off some of our letters and sounds (thank you Leap Frog Letter Factory!!). He is really into counting things, constantly pointing things out to me and showing me how he can count. He is very much a boy, but has been playing in the play kitchen and occasionally with dolls (gasp!...lol!). I think it's great he has a variety of things to play with, from trains, to building blocks, to Dora figures. He loves play doh and can play with it for at least 30 minutes at a time. Same thing with some of the building blocks we have. His brain is like a sponge and he is just so eager to learn everything that he has missed out on.

We are seeing more and more of his personality come out. He is a sweet, loving boy with occasional stubborn streaks. Just today he was giving me hugs while he was riding in the shopping cart at the store and saying 'I love you'...an amazingly sweet moment! We have been trying different things for discipline and are finally able to use timeouts at the moment. Most of the time he likes to please us and he is compliant and even says 'okay dokey' when asked to do things, sometimes, he shouts out 'No!' and is stubborn. It is all a learning process as we get to know each other and figure out what will work.

Some of his favorite things:
Being tickled, riding his tricycle, drawing outside with chalk, going to the park, playing soccer, playing with Trio blocks, playing with toy airplanes and helicopters, watching tv (mostly Disney and Dora), riding in the car, going to the gym (Kids Zone while I work out), shopping at Costco (eating their samples).

He says he wants to go to school but he's not quite ready. I'm hoping to get him in after the holidays. He has come so far from when we first met him. I remember him trying to play in the visiting room and he would pound on the electronic toys trying to figure them out. Now he knows how to play with toys and he just built a robot by himself for the first time with the Trio blocks! I am so proud of him. He has also learned to use scissors. He is learning to color and the other day, he traced a ball and colored it in...amazing!

We are so blessed to have him in our family, we are teaching him a lot, but I think he has a lot to teach us, too, about love, acceptance and trust.

Holiday Dilemma

2009-11-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

So normally we travel by car several hours away to stay with extended family a few days for the Thanksgiving holiday. The girls love seeing their teenage girl cousins and we enjoy spending time with relatives and doing fun things with the girls. But the girls are used to this and they enjoy all our travels. Now, Nicholas is acclimating very well to our immediate family and to short outings, but we just don't know how he would do on a trip where everything will be different and his routine will be disrupted.

Dad wants to stay at relative's house for 1-2 nights and maybe another relative's house. I've thought about just the girls going with their dad (they are his family) but they don't want to go without me or Nicholas. So here are our options:
A. Forget about it, stay home
B. Go for one day, stay one night at relatives house and come back
C. Go for it, it will be good practice, just high tail it out of there if it is too stressful

Now, I don't know if this is an option, but I think staying in a hotel would be better as there are less things for Nicholas to 'get into'. And if things are stressful, we can take him back to the hotel, and do calming things, like swimming, watching favorite dvds, etc.

Oh and I should add he sleeps pretty well at home in his bed in his own room and we have his night time routine down well. We do still give him an herbal supplement to help him relax for bedtime though and I think he is a light sleeper. I can't even think how we would do sleeping arrangements...

So, I would love to hear some feedback from some other adoptive parents of older children. Please tell me what your experience is or what you think about this.

A field trip with a friend

2009-11-08T20:45:00.000-08:00

We've been having playdates with my friend and her son, L, a couple of times a month. Last week, we took a trip to watch trains come through an area which has been named as a National Historic Civil Engineering Landmark. Unfortunately, no trains came through. At least the boys had some snacks in the car while we waited the 20-30 minutes.

After this we headed to the town with the apple orchards and headed to an orchard for a picnic and apple picking. We found one that still had apples, unfortunately, this orchard didn't do 'u-pick'. I guess the worker told the owner and the owner let the boys pick a couple of apples from a tree near their shed. They also had lots of samples of the different apples and different ciders. They had some small apples, I think they were Pink Lady. Although they were green and red, they reminded me a bit of the apples growing in the courtyard of the babyhouse. Nicholas loved grabbing these and eating these, they are a great size for snacks.

On the way back to town, we ended up at a popular farm that has a farmstand and small petting zoo. We never made it to the petting zoo as the boys just loved playing in the bucket of corn (kind of like a sandbox, only with corn).

Halloween pictures

2009-11-08T20:18:00.001-08:00

We ended up taking Nicholas just to our neighbors in our cul-de-sac. At first we thought he would be Tigger as he put on the Tigger costume I found and bounced around like Tigger. I put out 3 costumes, Buzz Lightyear, Tigger and the train hat and he chose to be a train engineer. The funny thing is, then next couple of nights before bed, he asked 'trick or treating?' and was so sad when I told him 'no' and that Halloween was only once a year. He really got the hang of trick or treating and loved getting the candy. We dropped him off with Daddy, and I took the girls with friends for trick or treating.

He really enjoyed seeing all the decorations. At the gym where I work out, they had some fantastic Halloween display. He would always point out in wonder at all the spiders and bats. I think he was surprised when all the decorations disappeared.

Happy 5th Birthday Claire Bear!

2009-10-24T08:47:00.001-07:00

We had a big bash for Claire's 5th birthday. It was a lot of fun and I didn't have to do too much work for it. Everyone seemed to have a great time at the place we had her party. She is growing up so fast!

Some firsts for Nicholas

2009-10-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

In the past couple of weeks I have been taking Nicholas 'out' more since I was stir crazy when the girls were sick. We have been to Costco (he LOVED all the samples), the gym childcare (with Claire), big grocery stores, our new Target and he does really great. We did take him to church where he did okay, but Sunday School was hard he didn't want to leave the classroom when it was time to go out and play. I was with him the entire time during Sunday School.

Claire

2009-10-19T23:08:00.000-07:00

We didn't have to worry much about Claire over the summer, but I think she just wasn't old enough to understand what was going on in our family. More recently we have had more challenges, although I do have to confess I have found Claire to be more of a challenge to parent in general.

Nicholas and Claire are 12 months apart in age but will be 2 years apart in school as long as we are able to 'hold back' Nicholas 1 year from Kindergarten. Many times, they get along well, usually it is to 'gang' up on us! Many times, they do not get along well and fight over wanting to play with the same toys (like building toys). It's actually been helpful though in facilitating lessons in sharing and taking turns with toys. She has been helpful in helping me to teach Nicholas how to play a game. So far those games include Elefun and Dora Bingo.

Claire started Kindergarten this year and will be turning 5 on October 24th. We are planning a big party for her at a place with animals, pony rides, a bounce house and a mini train. I felt it would be better for Nicholas not to have a party at our house so soon. She still loves singing and she continues to take a ballet class after school like her sister. She talks a lot and asks tons of questions...I think it's payback, I remember asking lots of questions when I was young.

She loves Kindergarten and is doing well. She is a good reader and learning more math. She is doing well socially, I was so amazed the first week of school when she came home talking about all her new friends. She had a much harder time in preschool socially.

About a week after we were home, Claire flat out told me she didn't want Nicholas in our family because he was too crazy and didn't speak English. I have seen, however, how her love has grown for Nicholas and she loves to give him hugs and kisses at night. We definitely have some sibling rivalry to contend with, but we had that anyway. I suppose that now she is the 'middle child', she is trying to find her place in the family.

In November, Claire will be having surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. I didn't realize how HUGE they were until I looked in her mouth this summer. She snores horribly and I think it affects her sleep. It's a little scary, but I'm looking forward to a more restful Claire. We are proud of Claire and what a good big sister she has been, we are proud of Olivia, too, of course.

Olivia

2009-10-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

I've realized I've focused a lot recently on Nicholas...of course, he is the newest member of our family. I feel like I should tell you more about our other 2 and how they are adjusting. While we did have some challenges with Olivia this summer during our trips to Kazakhstan, she is adjusting very well, she is a wonderful big sister! She is patient and loving with her brother. I was reminded this the other night when she hugged him goodnight and told him 'I love you so much!'

She is 7 years old and in 2nd grade. She was actually chosen to be in a 1st/2nd combo class this year...don't ask, it's a California thing! So far, it seems to be a wonderful class for her this year in the midst of all the changes in our family. Her teacher is wonderful and seems to be very nurturing towards all the students. Academically she is making mostly A's on her tests and she has been reading a ton of books. She proudly told me the other day that she read the most AR books of anyone in her class!

Although most of her friends are in different classes, she continues to be a social butterfly. I just wish she could have more play dates with her friends, but like everyone else, we attempt to juggle schoolwork for 2 kids, after school activities, church activities, housework, etc.

An exciting event in her life is the holiday Nutcracker performed with the local symphony. She auditioned and was chosen again to be one of the coveted bonbons, there are only 4 per cast. She will perform in the Saturday evening show and Sunday afternoon show in mid-December. The Nutcracker is the whole reason behind her taking ballet classes. She was 4 1/2 the first time I took her and she decided she wanted to be in the Nutcracker. I told her she would have to take ballet classes and practice. As of yet, she doesn't have the flexibility of a ballet dancer, but she has the heart of one and will do her best.

Most of the time Olivia and Nicholas get along very well, in fact, Olivia will give in to him more often than not and she does enjoy trying to teach him new words.

One Month Ago

2009-10-12T22:56:00.001-07:00

We arrived in Los Angeles with Nicholas Roman. It is so unbelievable that was only a month ago. As you know, the beginning was a bit rocky, but mostly everything is going well. When everything is going smoothly and everyone's needs are met, it is the BEST!

Nicholas continues to amaze me. He has grown 1 1/2 inches since arriving here, isn't that incredible?! I wondered why his new long sleeved 3T shirts appeared too short for his arms! He talks a lot, but it's a mix of Russian, Kazak and English. I sure wish I knew some of the things he was saying and what he is thinking in his little head. He is a wonderful boy, he is affectionate with us, sometimes goofy, sometimes mischievous and sometimes hard-headed. And he is just so cute!

He likes to watch some television and is starting to learn he is not the only one who wants to watch television. He likes to build with blocks (or have someone build an airplane for him), play with Little People, pretend tool set, train set, Dora castle (he just likes opening up all the secret spots), play with cars, read before bed, play in the bath (he spends almost an hour in the bath!), he loves to swim...if only he could do it all year :p, play at the park, dig in the backyard, go to the store, look at the fish in the aquariums at the radiologist and we are still learning things he likes. He loves airplanes, helicopters and cars. Anytime he hears what sounds like an airplane, he dashes to the window to look for it.

Sometimes it is simply exhausting, especially last week when the girls were sick and all 3 were at home...gasp! It really is a lot of work to help Nicholas to learn to play. He can't just play a game with the girls, he has to be taught there are rules to follow and he has to take turns. So far, the only successful games he has played were Elefun and Dora Bingo. Otherwise, if the kids are pretending together they get along pretty well. If they are playing with toys, like the trains or blocks, they inevitably get into arguments. He can be very demanding of myself and my time and this can also be exhausting. Maybe this is jealousy or fear that is playing out. Jealous of the time I spend with the girls or fear that I will leave him, I'm not sure. I hope this gets better with time.

He eats really well, all healthy foods except for occasional chocolate and ice cream. He eats meat, chicken, cucumber, tomato, potato, corn on the cob, rice, seaweed/nori, hot dog, carrot, pizza, yogurt, grapes, apple, banana, strawberry, but does not care too much for bread, crackers, goldfish, cookies (except oreos). The specialist we met did however mention he ate fast and stuffed his mouth so we have also been working on encouraging him to slow down and take small bites. This is going really well, in fact, he sometimes now gets distracted. I also think his body is starting to realize when he has eaten enough food. In the beginning I was feeding him about every 2 hours...3 main meals with snacks in between. I always made sure I had a snack for him. Lately he has shown less interest in the snacks so I haven't offered snacks as much, but there is always something in a cup on the table...cereal, or nuts or some of his leftover breakfast. He even turned down apple today and he used to always ask for an apple...every day!

He sleeps really well at night but we continue to give him a supplement to help him calm down and get ready for bed. Another adoptive mom recommended it, Sleep Tranquil, which has melatonin in it. We tried one night without it and had a hard time getting him to settle down so now we only give him half a tablet. He wakes up happy every morning. He seems to get tired in the afternoons but it was too stressful in the beginning to get him to nap. The only down side is that it's hard to get him to have a quiet time.

He is learning English all the time and even tries to sing a few songs that we sing to him, like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star or Hush Little Baby. He is really into counting and is always showing me what he is counting. Sometimes he seems so eager to learn that he mixes up words, but he definitely knows what an airplane and a helicopter are!

Our love for him continues to grow every day!

Happy 4th Birthday Nicholas!

2009-10-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

Although Nicholas' birthday is on October 5th, we celebrated it on Saturday the 3rd. We wanted to keep it small and low key since he didn't even know what a birthday is. I scheduled a tour at our neighborhood fire station for 10 in the morning. The captain on duty let the kids climb into the rig and we watched the firefighters cleaning the station, the truck, etc. He then took out his gear and put everything on while explaining what it was for, the boots, suit, etc. It's nice for the kids to see the firemen in gear so they won't be afraid. He also showed us around the inside of the station. Nicholas Roma was excited to see the trucks and really enjoyed sitting inside of the truck.
For lunch, the kids made pizzas. Nicholas kept eyeing the chocolate cake I made for his birthday. For decoration, I wrote Happy Birthday and put a Playmobil helicopter on top. He was SO excited about the helicopter that he could care less about the cake or that we were singing 'Happy Birthday' to him! He loves that helicopter!

There was a stack of presents on the edge of the table that he didn't notice. Actually they were gifts for him from a shower friends threw me before our last trip. We've been consciously trying not to overwhelm him with things as he can get over stimulated easily. The girls kept trying to get him to open the presents but he was so excited about the helicopter he didn't care. Several hours later, Olivia literally shoved some presents at him and showed him how to open them. Finally he figured out what to do.

He loved everything he got and exclaimed "Wow" every time he opened something new. He got a train set including a Thomas the Train and Harold the Helicopter, a fire truck puzzle, train cap and whistle. He enjoys playing with the trains and even has shown a little interest in the Thomas the Train dvd series.

In survival mode

2009-10-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

I have so much I want to post including pictures from Nicholas' birthday celebration. Unfortunately, the girls have been sick. Olivia missed 5 days of school, went back to school for one day and one hour and threw up. Now Claire is back at school and Olivia is at home. Nicholas has not been sick yet. I sure would like to get out of the house someday...

Not much time

2009-10-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much time to myself this week. Poor Olivia has been sick with some virus, she has missed 3 days of school and it's been hard to be cooped up with an active boy. We've been stuck at home watching too much television. There have been hard times and good times. It's hard attending to everyone's needs as I have to make sure Olivia is getting well, Nicholas is vying for my attention all the time and Claire gets jealous. This afternoon was a really bright moment as Claire and Nicholas were getting along well. Claire was drawing rockets and coloring them for Nicholas. She cut out one so Nicholas wanted to cut out the other one and he did pretty well. I'm not sure if he ever had experience with scissors.

Earlier this week, I took Nicholas down south to see an international adoption doctor. We spent almost 3 hours with the doctor. His report was overall positive and in fact, he was very impressed with how well Nicholas was doing after only being here for 2 weeks. Some things we have to work on are teaching him how to play with other children (sharing and taking turns), eating and drinking slower, reducing undesirable behaviors (whining, demanding, tantrums). Wow, the teaching is hard work, I was consciously trying to show him how to wait his turn for a toy and how to share toys. I've also been making a more concerted effort to sit with him during meals and encourage him to eat slower and also make eye contact while eating as I've read that can help with bonding. He is attaching well to us and I think it has been extremely beneficial to keep him away from overstimulating situations.

Some September photos

2009-09-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

Playing nicely until the argument.

Playing at the park.

Happy boy!

Not really asleep, just playing nicely together.

He *loves* to swim!

It's been over a week here in America

2009-09-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

And I think he is adjusting fairly well. This morning when I had to hold him for hitting his sister, he only mildly had a fit and I was able to get him to say 'sorry' to Claire all within just a matter of minutes. This is a HUGE improvement, I think he is learning the rules in our house. I'm still not sure if he is really hyperactive or just an active boy. Some days he can be calmer and sit and focus on an activity, other days he is more hyper.

Yesterday, I took him to a park to play for a while and it was a nice time. He was very interested in the 2 commercial mowers mowing the grass nearby. It was getting hot early so we didn't get to stay too long.

As for our typical weekday, the kids get up around 6/6:30, I feed them a big breakfast, the girls get ready. Fortunately boys are easy to get ready...no braiding hair, no attending to accessories, etc.! We try to be out the door around 7:30-7:40 to get Olivia to school on time, lately we have been arriving as the first bell rings. I park in the parking lot and walk the kids to the side gate. We say goodbye to 'Sissy' (Olivia), then we walk Claire into the daycare building. Nicholas and I go home so he can play or watch tv. Sometimes I actually get to clean, do laundry, take a shower or blog...

I'll then give him a big lunch around 12, then I let him watch some Baby Einstein dvds and he will usually chill in front of the tv for a while. The girls get home between 2 and 2:40 when I have friends helping or we go to the school to get them. This is where I run into trouble, the time between 3 and 8pm. The girls want to watch the Disney shows like Hannah Montana and Nicholas runs a little wild getting into things. They have played outside together a couple of times and yesterday we went swimming. We have dinner between 5 and 5:30, then I make sure Nicholas is in the bath shortly after 6pm because he can spend hours in there, but of course, we get him out by 6:45pm.

So far, we have actually gotten him interested in a few books. Mainly a board book about planes and a Cars look and find book. He is starting to branch out. We look at books for a while, then I turn out the light and rock and sing to him for a while. He just doesn't seem to settle down easily so the last couple of nights, I sit on the edge of his bed and wait for him to fall asleep. Last night he kept trying to sit up and it took at least 40 minutes for him to fall asleep this way. I can't figure out what is comforting to him, if stroking his face helps, patting his back, rocking him, him chewing on his fingers, etc. About an hour later, I found him crying sitting up so I lowered him down while comforting him.

When we first got home I was sleeping in a twin in his room, but since he was sleeping well, I was back sleeping in our room the last few nights. Last night he woke up at 3am to go 'CM'(potty) and seemed pretty awake, so when I took him back to his bed, I tried to get in the twin, but he kept getting up, so I ended up laying by his bed while it took about 2 hours for him to go back to sleep (all the while yawning). I can't figure out if we are doing it wrong or if he is just fighting the sleep or maybe he is even overtired from not having a nap? Feel free to offer suggestions if you have had a similar experience.

Oh and yesterday, I was talking to a local friend who is Kazak about some words I needed translated and she ended up having a short conversation with him. We found out his favorite foods are apples and bananas (which we already knew) and she asked how he liked his family and he replied that Papa was sleeping (he was actually at work at the time) and Mama is cleaning (we were just cleaning up the toys he was playing with). When she asked if he had lots of toys, he asked that she bring his plane. I think he is talking about the matchbox plane we brought to him in July, it was left (or lost) at the Babyhouse. Guess we'll have to replace that one! She said he sounded good. I wonder if his sleep issue last night had to do with talking to someone in his language, maybe it reminded him of the Babyhouse.

This morning was a big morning as we went for an ultrasound on his kidneys to follow up on a kidney infection he had back in December. The place we went to had 2 aquariums and he could look at those fish all day, it may have been the first time he saw live fish. And get this, I actually took him to the grocery store. It was his first trip here to the store and he did very well while helping me. I made sure to tell him that we were just going for apples and strawberries and he did well helping me to hold the hand basket. I think it was successful because I let him help me and we went in to just get a few things and there weren't many people in the store.

A few pictures from home...

2009-09-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

Some good...some bad...just keep swimming...

2009-09-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I took Nicholas to get some bloodwork done and overall he did well despite some bad behavior while waiting. I felt so bad about him having bloodwork that I took him to a local feed store where they have a small petting zoo in back. He was excited about the animals and we had fun till he started playing with the dirt, then we left. He was so tired after lunch, just one yawn after another that I decided to try to get him to take a nap. After only 15 minutes of rocking and minimal crying, I was astounded he fell asleep. I thought this was a great thing.

I tried to wake him after an hour and a half but had real difficulty and he became a real bear, throwing tantrums when he didn't get his way. Bed time was difficult and it took an hour of rocking while holding till he finally gave in and went to sleep. This was a real battle, it's like he was fighting the sleep. The previous night I only had to rock him about 15 minutes.

Today has been hard as he has been extremely hyper, I think because we are not in our usual weekday routine and everyone is home. We've had several tantrums and we can't get him to calm down unless we put something on tv that he will watch. I'm praying for patience for all of us. When he is having fun and everything is going smoothly he is a joy. I hate having to say 'no' because I know he'll get mad but he has to learn to accept 'no' and to learn the rules in our family.

This afternoon, I had some one on one time with Olivia and it was nice. I learned that she didn't want to eat her fruit in her lunch from home at school because she was embarrassed by the 'kiddy' container. We had a nice time eating lunch, shopping for books for her and we spent time together while she enjoyed an ice cream cone. I plan to spend one on one time with Claire next Saturday.

I had a little bug earlier in the week, probably from all the travel and the stress. Hubby is still getting over his. We have been so blessed by all the help we have received with meals and errands and help with picking up the girls from school. We are so thankful to everyone's support and especially to my friends Heidi and Tracie whose families helped take care of the girls while we were on our last trip to Kazakhstan.

A Better Day

2009-09-17T21:49:00.001-07:00

Today went alot better than yesterday and ended in a giggling fit with the 3 kids. And we even spent 2 hours at the pediatrician today. Nicholas and I waited for an hour for his appointment, it was just a bad time for an appointment right before their lunch. It took a while for our pediatrician to decide what kind of tests to order as Nicholas' vaccinations are incomplete. He also ordered an ultrasound for his kidneys as there was an indication he had a problem last year. In a week and a half we will be visiting an international adoption specialist down south where he will get a more comprehensive exam.

I do have to say that Nicholas behaved so well at the doctor's office considering how long we had to wait, even the doctor commented about how compliant he was during the exam. We made it home late for lunch but fortunately I brought a snack for the doctor visit. I've been feeding Nicholas alot, at least 5 times a day. It was recommended food be offered about every 2 hours in one of the books I read and it seems to work pretty well for us. We have a big breakfast, 2 snacks, hot lunch, 2 snacks, big dinner. So far, we have not had any issues with hoarding.

I finally discovered that he will actually sit and watch some of the Baby Einsten dvds, usually the ones with animals. We've tried Thomas the Train, Bob the Builder and some others but I think since he doesn't understand the English, he is just not interested. The nice thing about Baby Einstein is there isn't much talking, but just enough so he will start to learn English. We also watched Leap Frog Let's Go to School and he actually sat and watched the whole dvd! I was so surprised. We have some other Leap Frog dvds we will get around to watching, too.

This evening after dinner, Claire and Nicholas had a tiff over some books but we worked it out and it was a learning experience for both of them. Claire was in a bad mood today, I think she had a bad day at school...maybe it started with the bad dream she had last night. I was able to get her laugh when I started tickling her, then Nicholas got jealous, so I started tickling him, then I included Olivia. It was such a joy to have all the kids laughing together and having such fun together. Olivia even said it was a nice family moment. Bedtime was tough trying to meet all the kids needs as Claire wanted a book read to her, Nicholas wanted to show me books and Olivia wanted me to read to her, too. Nicholas wanted to sleep in Olivia's bed, I think he is just so used to sleeping in another room with other kids. Anyway, I sang to Nicholas and rocked him and it was the sweetest thing to have him fall asleep in my arms and he looks so sweet when he is asleep. I can really see a change in his face, he seems more rested and even the rash he had around his face from putting his fingers/hands in his mouth went away. I think he was nervous when we first got him and he really hasn't been putting his fingers in his mouth as much. His face seems to have more color, too.

Hoping for another good day tomorrow!

His Dislikes

2009-09-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

sweets (besides chocolates)
green beans
squash
pasta
bread
nap (no naps)
bedtime
doctors
being told no

His Likes

2009-09-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

apples
tomatoes
cucumber
rice
nori(seaweed)
chicken
banana
grapes
chocolate candies
cars
airplanes
balls
Baby Einstein videos with animals
Mickey Mouse
some Disney shows
Finding Nemo
sharks
sea animals
tools
turning on/off lights
pushing any buttons
water
baths
pool
digging in the dirt
guns/shooting sounds (we don't have any toys like this but he will pretend with anything that could be a gun or make one with blocks)

A Dream?

2009-09-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

I think I had a dream yesterday that Nicholas Roma was the perfect child. We had a great day. After taking the girls to school, I took him to the walk/bike path. I walked for about 20-30 minutes while he rode in the jogger stroller. Afterwards I took him to the nearby playground where he played for about an hour and even played well with another 3 year old boy. All day, he kept asking "Where's Papa?" " Where's Claire? Sissy?"

He ate pretty well, I even took him with me to pick up the girls from school. It was a little much when we went to get Claire. There were a ton of people (parents and kids) waiting outside her class. The rest of the day went well with all the kids playing well together and even Nicholas sharing a toy and being so sweet to Claire when she wanted to join him. When it was time for bed, it wasn't too difficult, he didn't put up much of a fuss.

I slept in the same room again and he woke up a couple of times. I asked if he needed C M (potty in Kazak), but he said no...I'm not sure what he wanted so I just put him back to bed. He did wake up early around 6pm. This is where the dream ended.

From the get go, things just did not go well today. Claire and Nicholas fought over a toy, right after I took a picture of them playing nicely. And the rest of the day just got worse. He had tantrums all day and over little things. Sometimes it was because I told him 'no', sometimes it was because I needed to hold him for a 'time-in' because he threw something, and sometimes it was just because he was frustrated and didn't understand (how the toy worked, that the dvd takes a while to load, etc.). I thought maybe his behavior was a sign he needed a nap, so I tried to put him down for a nap...for an hour, then I had to give up because the girls came home.

I'm really hoping it's just from overstimulation from being around too many people or it's from being tired. I sure hope tomorrow is better, especially since he has his appointment with our pediatrician.

I would even describe him as Jekell and Hyde, one moment he could be really sweet, the next a terror. I'm not sure if this is his personality or post institutional behavior or a combination of things. I'm sure glad we have an appointment with an international adoption specialist because I'm just not sure if I'm handling the tantrums appropriately.

As for attachment, I think this is going well, he seems really attached to all of us and is shy around strangers. He hugs and kisses me alot sometimes too strongly. And even though I can be stern with him, he still hugs on me. We practice making faces for 'happy', 'sad', 'mad', and 'scared' and when we practice the 'mad' face, I think he worries because he wants to hug me right after that.

Quick update

2009-09-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

I really want to let you know everything that has happened since we left for Kazakhstan but Nicholas has to be under constant supervision. I'm grabbing a few minutes before bed to let you know how we are doing.

This has been the most incredible journey. Nicholas is so sweet (especially when he is sleeping...lol!) and it is such a joy to see him so happy. I do have to be honest that there have been challenges. We are having to teach him boundaries and he is certainly not happy about that.

I want to tell you how the girls have been with him. We arrived home late Saturday afternoon. We ate some dinner and showed Nicholas (we've been calling him Nicholas Roma and Roma) around the house. After about an hour, he became really upset and was wandering around looking for something, like he was missing someone or something from the babyhouse? He had a complete meltdown (we had already experienced a few of these since getting custody...he has been through alot).

So sometime after this meltdown, our friend brings the girls home. Nicholas sees Claire and they run towards each other and hug each other like long lost brother and sister! The funniest thing was seeing him take the girls around the house and show them all the fun toys as if they were just arriving in our house too! It was so cute to see this and when he would point to the toy, Claire would tell him "I already know that". Today at dinner, Claire and Nicholas were making silly faces with each other....they were meant to be siblings! Olivia just kind of rolled her eyes!

Olivia was very happy to meet him too and exclaimed, "He's littler than I thought he would be", I think she thought he would be more their size, but he is barely into a size 3. She really likes to help out and I have to remind her that it is our job to take care of him.

The newest American:

Home at last...

2009-09-13T09:14:00.001-07:00

All I have time to write now is that we made it home with Nicholas Roma. Everything is going well. I have lots to write about...when I find the time...

It's finally here...

2009-09-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

The paint is dry, the curtains are hung, now we are just waiting for our little boy. We are leaving soon to bring him home. Sorry to say I will be incommunicado during this trip since I will not be bringing my laptop. We aren't sure of the internet connection in the apartment and I think I'm going to be too busy chasing a little boy to have time to surf the internet. The next few weeks will be tough with travel and transitions.

We've 'tried' to keep his room low-key, but we've been given some new clothes and toys along with the hand-me-downs. And of course, we have a whole other room full of toys that I've tried to put away... It looks better but there are still lots of toys. Our family room is really a 'play room' with a kitchen, play food, kids' work bench equipped with tools, lots of games on the shelves as well as arts and crafts supply. We have a tv in there where the kids and dad play the wii occasionally. (Mom is usually cleaning, cooking,doing laundry or knitting)

I would like to post more, but so much to do...gotta finish cleaning and packing. Oooops didn't realize it was going to be cold there (cold for us Californians, that is) so now I have to rethink the clothes!

Girls and their Curls

2009-08-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

Preparing to Adopt an Older Child

2009-08-25T14:47:00.001-07:00

I think I'll take this opportunity to tell you what we are doing to prepare for an older child. So far I've read the following books: The Connected Child, Attaching in Adoption, and Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child. I like the positive approach of The Connected Child, I felt like it offered more hope to the parent that attaching to an older child is possible, it also gave real advice on how to handle certain circumstances. I think I will take bits and pieces from all of the books so I'm glad I read them all. The last one I read I think will be more useful as children approach middle elementary age and older when they start to ask more questions about who they are. I also have Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control which I haven't had time to read but have heard good things about it.

Here is an excellent article on attachment that I found at the University of Minnesota International Adoption website: Attachment.

I wholeheartedly agree with most of the article and we hope to follow most of the recommendations. For instance, we are planning to 'lay low' for the beginning, but I'm not sure how long that will be. I'm fortunate that I will have time to be with Nicholas one-on-one so that I can show him I am his only mama and help him with his English. I think it would be impossible for us to follow to the letter every recommendation because the girls have school and activities throughout the week, I will be shuttling them back and forth from school and ballet.

I will wait to enroll Nicholas in a preschool program but am thinking about starting after the first of the year. At that point, I need to have time to help out in Olivia and Claire's classes and give them the time they need. I plan to send him to the same Montessori that the girls attended. I've always felt the structure of the Montessori school was good for them and it will be a good experience for him to be in a mixed age class.

I've read this and was given this advice. We have to think of Nicholas as an alien being brought from his planet to ours. Everything will be so different than he knows. The climate will be different, the food, the sounds, the smells, the people and the language. What he really needs is time, time to learn about his new planet and time to enjoy being a kid.

A Note to our friends and family: We know that you want to get to know Nicholas and to love on him like we do, but right now it's most important for him to know that his mom and dad are the ones that take care of him. We ask you not to pick him up or hug him or give him gifts or food without our permission. We should be the ones offering him comfort, offering him food, etc. What he really needs his family and time to adjust.

First Day of School...lots of pictures of course!

2009-08-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

The first day of school went great today! Olivia(and her new smile...notice the missing teeth!) began 2nd grade this year and Claire started Kindergarten. They both have great teachers and it looks like despite the increased class sizes they will have a great year. After we arrived home, I wanted to hear all about their day. They were bursting at the seams to tell me how much fun their first day was, all about their new friends and who they played with at recess. At least Claire recalled learning a new song about spelling the word RED, Olivia couldn't exactly remember the academics!

Preparing for trip#3

2009-08-20T16:12:00.001-07:00

We found out this week that the adoption decree is official, so now our coordinator is finalizing all the paperwork and sending off for our son's Kazakhstan passport. Nicholas Roman is officially our son and we will be heading back for him in a couple of weeks!

You may have noticed that we have been calling him Roman, yet named him Nicholas Roman. His given name is Roman, yet I also realized recently that most of the kids called him Roma and we found in some of his paperwork that he was called Roma, the shortened version of his name. We do like his name but also we like Nicholas which is more American. We plan to call him Nicholas Roma and Roma for a while to see if he would like the name Nicholas. It's actually hard to think of calling him Nicholas after all the time we spent with him. If he doesn't take to the name Nicholas then we will probably just stick with Roman or Roma.

As you can see, we have been 'nesting' in preparation for Nicholas' arrival. We still have to paint the trim in his room and finish preparing his room. We have been spring cleaning and trying to organize our house so it's not so cluttered. We really don't want to overstimulate him, so although I would love to buy every truck, ball, and boy toy for him, I know that's not the best. What he really needs is our time and not things.

I've also spent lots of time reading parenting books and communicating with other adoptive parents in hopes of preparing ourselves for an older child. To be honest, I have had my ups and downs about everything. You know, we were open to having an older child, however, we were not prepared. Some days I feel confident and joyous about bringing Nicholas Roman into our family, other days I truly am scared about all the changes about to happen in our family. I am fortunate to communicate with other parents who adopted older children who point out that it is our son who will face the most changes as he is leaving the place that was his home for the last year, he is also leaving his country and his language behind. He is a brave little boy.

Between trips we have also been helping to prepare our girls. First, we have been trying to spend some quality time together as a family, second, we have just been having fun. Also, since we will have friends take care of the girls during this last trip, the girls just had their first sleepovers as a trial run. They had a great time, I can say it was a success. They were so worn out they both took long naps the last 2 days. We are so grateful for our friends for taking care of Olivia and Claire, we know they will be well taken care of and will have the company of their friends, too, in case they become sad.

Painting project

2009-08-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

Here are the girls helping to paint their brother's room.

Life's a Beach!

2009-08-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

One day last week we went to Morro Bay to enjoy the beach with friends from Olivia's first grade class, including her teacher and his wife! Although it was overcast and there were a ton of bugs, the kids had a blast. I love going to the beach, wish we could go more often! We saw starfish, sea anemones, sea shells, tiny crabs and even dolphins!

A few pictures from Trip #2

2009-08-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

On our way to Almaty!

View of TV tower from our hotel room.

Beautiful view from Kok Tobe.

View from cable car on our way back down from Kok Tobe.

Juvenile Court House

Parents of Nicholas Roman!

Donating diapers and fruit to the babyhouse:

Enjoying our last visit with Roman:

Friday, July 31

2009-07-31T03:31:00.000-07:00

We are at Coffedelia enjoying a snack and the wifi so I thought I would make a last post from Almaty. By the way the food at Coffedelia is yummy, much better than Segrefredo which is a coffee shop closer to the hotel.

We had our last visit with Roman today. On the way to the Babyhouse, we stopped and bought 16 packages of diapers to donate. We also stopped at a small green market nearby to buy 10 kilos of local apples and 2 bunches of bananas to donate, too. We were running a little late, so Roman was waiting for us to arrive.

There was an Italian couple bonding with a baby in the play room, so we had to share the space. This is a little hard to do because Roman can be indiscriminately affectionate as he doesn’t understand that he has only 1 mama and 1 papa. I brought my apple slicer so he shared his 2 apples with us and even attempted to share with the other family. When there is another baby in the room, he always tries to offer a toy to the baby. We played with the toys for a while then went outside to kick the small ball. We also played with bubbles for a little while too. He seems to have caught some sort of cold, as he has had a bit of a cough and runny nose while we are here but it sure didn’t slow him down! We learned that there is something going around in his group.

It was time to go too soon and say ‘paka’ good bye. He was ready to go for lunch. He doesn’t understand everything that is happening right now. We plan to leave a small photo album for him with pictures of the girls and pictures of us in it so hopefully he won’t forget. It's bittersweet leaving because he doesn't understand and we will worry but we have our girls waiting for us back home.

It looks like we will make our final trip back the first or second week of September which is later than we expected. We knew we had to be home the week of August 24th though since that is the first day of school for the girls...trying to balance the needs of everyone in our family can be hard. We learned that after the 15 day waiting period, our agency will apply for Roman's Kazakhstan passport and it takes time for all the paperwork to get done about 1-2 weeks. I'm sad Roman has to wait so long, but kind of glad so we can get into some sort of routine while school is in session. We also have lots to do around the house, decluttering (BIG job), organizing, babyproofing (yes,that's right babyproofing so Roman doesn't get into anything he shouldn't), fixing up his room, etc.

Thanks to everyone for all your comments, support and encouragement, while I read every single comment, I just don't have time to respond to each one...again thank you so much for commenting!

Thursday evening

2009-07-30T07:12:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of photos. I haven't had a chance to upload them to our computer. We also don't have regular internet access and have chosen to go to an internet cafe only a couple of times this trip. I will try to post pictures after we return home this weekend.

Thursday, July 30th

2009-07-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

It’s official! We are proud parents of a new son, Nicholas Roman. We had court this morning at 10 am in which the judge approved our application for adoption. We were so nervous and didn’t sleep well the night before. Everything is more stressful than I imagined. We left our hotel early and arrived at the juvenile court house around 9:30am, so we had to wait for everyone to show up. In Kazakhstan, adoptions are a closed hearing and only parties involved attend the hearing. The hearing is not held in a court room, but inside the judge’s modest office. We were assigned to the new young female judge. There are 2 other judges, one ‘good’ and one ‘bad’, fortunately our judge seemed ‘good’ and very positive. The court is in the process of moving to another building and will apparently have another 4th judge.

At our hearing, there were 9 people, including us. There was the judge, very serious and young in a deep red robe sitting at her desk; to her left was her secretary taking notes by hand; to her right was the prosecutor who was dressed in a uniformed shirt. Sitting around the room around us was the district representative, the representative for the babyhouse, our translator, Galina, and our facilitator, Tatyana.

The start of the court hearing began by listing all the individuals attending the hearing and reading our rights. Then the judge started to ask questions, beginning with my hubby. He had to tell our reasons for the adoption and make a request for the adoption, to request the name changes and request a change for the birth date. The judge asked questions as to why we wanted to adopt in Kazakhstan, about our education, jobs, discipline, how we handle disagreements as a married couple, how involved is my hubby with the kids, asked why we don’t have another biological child, what are our responsibilities as parents, how the girls are reacting to this adoption, who is taking care of them while we are here, etc. The judge and prosecutor asked why we wanted to change the birth date. We told them it was for school so that Roman would have more time to learn English and acclimate and it was important to us because of the school cut off in California which is December 1st. At this point we learned there is a law that this can only be done if the child is under the age of 3. We were disappointed by this, especially me, but of course that would not affect our decision to adopt.

After this, the representatives from the district and the babyhouse each had a turn to make statements recommending our application for adoption. After this everyone abruptly stands up and we exit the office. Because our application included the request for a birth date change, we had to handwrite a statement that we wanted to make our adoption application with no change in the birth date, which is October 5, 2005. Galina translated this request and presented the papers to the office. Then we were all ushered back into the judge’s office where our adoption of Roman was made official. We told the judge and prosecutor, as well as the representatives, ‘spaseeba’ or thank you in Russian and we left the room and court house.

After this, Tatyana took us out to lunch with her driver, Dimitri, and Galina for a celebratory lunch. We went to a restaurant not far from the hotel and shared shashlick (shish kebabs).

We were not able to visit Roman today as we were told they were cleaning and the babyhouse is closed. So tomorrow, we plan to buy some fruit to give to the babyhouse and we have been asked to buy diapers as part of our donation to the babyhouse. The rest of our donation will be pooled with other families to buy some new furniture for the babyhouse. Tomorrow we will visit Roman as his new Mama and Papa.

Wednesday, July 29th

2009-07-30T06:59:00.000-07:00

Although I still woke up about 4 in the morning, I was determined to be positive today after the bad day we had yesterday. My mantra today was ‘it will be a good day…it will be a good day’…and it was. We had a good visit with Roman this morning. We were told he was asking for us since 9 in the morning and he ran to us this morning when we arrived. Thankfully Galina was with us this morning as she is really great with helping us with Roman especially since she knows some Kazak. Most of our visit went really well. Roman did have a couple of fits of anger over something he wanted or wanted to do, but we managed to get past it and have fun. He is so active that I actually broke out in a sweat trying to keep up with him. The language barrier makes it hard to connect with him but despite this, he gave me several hugs today. He seems to thrive on the love and attention we give him.

When I watch him, sometimes he looks like a 4 or 5 year old in his face, but he is the size of a 2 year old and many times exhibits behavior much like a 2 year old. He also exhibits the independence of a much older child which is due to living in an orphanage, sadly kids are pushed to be on their own much sooner than children in a family. I feel sad he has had to live in an orphanage and learn survival skills to live there.

It gets really boring being in the same play room all the time, especially on days like today where it is raining. Today we brought a mega blocks truck from home and he seemed to really enjoy building a house and playing with the other blocks. It’s so funny that he was so into kicking the ball the last time we were here or rolling the ball on the ground and now he is not as interested. We did a little bowling with some of the plastic bowling pins and balls…well, Roman did anyway. Then he used the bowling pins to bat a little ball back and forth with us.

Roman does laugh a lot when we tickle him or Papa throws a ball from behind his back and head. Roman finds the latter especially funny!

After our visit, we headed to the Green Market to buy a few last souvenirs and some flat bread. We are hoping to make another trip there on Friday to stock up on flat bread to bring home. Afterwards we just had snacks and relaxed in our room. Then around 4 we decided to take the cable car up to Kok Tobe which is up a hill near the large TV tower. It was a really nice excursion; we didn’t realize there was so much up there. There are a few restaurants, snack places, shops, and lots of activities for children even including a mini zoo. There are lots of trees and places to walk and enjoy the view looking down on Almaty. It is also quite peaceful. It ended up being a beautiful afternoon, too, sunny with a slight breeze.

Tuesday, July 28th

2009-07-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

I am still jetlagged as I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I tossed and turned for over an hour and gave up. I decided to read and then I went for a walk around 6:45am. As we were getting ready to go down for breakfast, we realized our hotel room door would not lock! So as I went on to breakfast, my hubby called to the desk. Someone was sent up to help him move into a different room. I felt like it was an upgrade since it included more furniture, it has 2 chairs and 2 nightstands!

So this morning we headed off to the Babyhouse for a 10am visit with Roman. When we arrived, Maigul and Tatyana showed us to the music room where we have never been. Apparently there is another family supposed to meet in the play room. I looked around the room, it’s nicer than the play room where we usually spend our visits, however I noticed there were only ‘baby’ toys…no balls, no cars which Roman likes to play with. Maigul went to get Roman but he refused to go to the ‘new’ room and ran to the other room.

To be honest, today was a difficult day. I feel like we made such strides during our bonding period, but it’s like starting all over…like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. He loves the matchbox airplane set we got him, but he has already thrown a huge tantrum about wanting to take it outside and he was MAD he didn't get his way. We managed to get him outside with promise of some bubbles. Today he wasn’t interested much in playing ball with us like he was during our first trip, he was more interested in sneaking berries off a bush and playing in the Little Tikes playhouse. We only get such limited time with him, we really don’t know him enough. And it's so hard with the language barrier. He forgot all the English he learned when we were last here. I wonder what he will be like when we get him home. Will he be a lot different? How often will he have a tantrum? Will he be the happy guy we left after our 2 week bonding period?

Monday, July 27th

2009-07-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

We arrived to Almaty late Sunday night and got settled in our hotel room. Monday, we mostly waited for a call and rested from our travels. We also went to the supermarket to stock up on water and a few snacks. We were able to go to the Babyhouse at 4pm to visit Roman for only an hour. Roman remembered us, but it’s hard that we have been gone for so long, it’s like starting all over again. Galina talked to Maigul while we were gone and told us Roman missed us and wanted us to visit.

Thank yous!

2009-07-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

We would like to thank everyone who has helped us along the way. There are so many... With help from friends and the community we were able to raise $1000 plus change for our donation to the Babyhouse! We will be making this donation on our 2nd trip and will keep you posted. We also couldn't have done this without my hubby's parents as they drove here for both our trips and took care of the girls. It's alot of work to take care of a 4yr old and 7 yr old! Thanks to all the friends that lent us DVD's for our trips! It's nice having something English to watch while hanging out in the hotel room. And we can't forgot those of you who have been praying for us during this journey, it has lifted us up knowing friends are thinking of us and praying for us.

Our 2nd trip

2009-07-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow on July 25th, we are setting off for Kazakhstan again. This time we will merely be there one week. I've really enjoyed the break from blogging and have enjoyed spending time with the girls and having fun swimming while trying to beat the heat (100-111 degree temps).

During the break, I've also checked out several books from the library about adoption. I finished reading 'The Connected Child' and I'm currently reading 'Attaching in Adoption'. I have alot more thoughts and feelings about everything, but one thing is for sure is that this will help me to become a better parent.

Since returning, I have felt like I'm caught between 2 different worlds. There is the really comfortable one where I spend time with the girls, referee their fights, have fun with them, take care of them and then there is the one in a whole other world where I'm jetlagged, eating different foods, hearing a different language, getting to know a little boy who will become our son, living in a different culture with a bunch of strangers.

I'm struggling thinking about all the changes about to happen, changes for us as parents, changes for the girls, changes in our day to day living, but I just wish we could start already. It's agony having everything so drawn out while we wait for bureaucracy to creep along.

We have a Date

2009-07-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

We were stunned to find out how quickly we received a court date. The date is set for July 30th and we have to arrive by the 28th to prepare so we are leaving in a week again for Kazakhstan.

We had expected to have several weeks to rearrange things in our house, paint Roman's room. It seems like we just got home! I was also looking forward to spending some quality time with the girls, looks like we only have a week and I know the time before our 3rd trip will go very quickly.

Family Time

2009-07-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

As soon as we landed on July 4th, we were headed off to my hubby's family's reunion. We spent about 3 days attending family events and spending time with extended family who we see only about once a year. The girls had a great time with all their cousins. The bottom photo is the youngest cousins. The teenager in the photo is the cousin who flew out here and helped out with the girls while we were gone. I'm sure he is glad to be back home so he can 'hang' with other teenagers.

As soon as we made it to our house on July 8th, I was busy unpacking and preparing for Olivia's belated birthday party. She had a swim party for her 7th birthday FINALLY...she has been asking for this since we moved here 3 years ago.

Now, we are settling into a summer routine and planning to spend some quality time with the girls. Olivia had a really hard time while we were gone, more than I anticipated so we are having to address some of the behavior issues and focus on quality time with them. We are also going to try to prepare them for the arrival of their little brother.

Home at last!

2009-07-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

We finally arrived home after about 28 hours of travel. Well, we're not home, yet since we are celebrating the 4th of July weekend with family, but we are in California at least. So glad to be in the good ole U.S.A.! Before our next trip, we will spend the next 4-5 weeks spending much needed quality time with the girls and getting ready for Nicholas Roman.

Friday, July 3rd

2009-07-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today, we had our last day of bonding with Roman, and it was a sad grey day. It’s hard to think about leaving him and I worry how he will be, I hope the time passes quickly for him. Today was a really great day for us. During the time we have spending with him, we have learned a lot about his life here. One of the things we learned is his strict schedule, which includes even toilet habits. During the bonding period, he has had a couple of accidents, partly due to our inability to understand him when our translator steps away. We also learned that after the kids eat, the caregivers make all the kids sit on pots about 15 minutes after each meal or snack. So Thursday, after we gave Roman a juice and a few cookies, we waited about 20 minutes, then we attempted to get his interest in going outside. Galina, our translator, had just stepped away, and we kept telling him ‘toileta’ and gesturing and cajoling. Thankfully Galina arrived as Roman was about to begin a full-fledged tantrum after seeing the bubbles. She gently reminded him of his accident just the day before and told him we were giving him the choice of going outside AFTER he goes to the toilet or staying in the room. Galina took him to the restroom and I stood just outside the door watching.

Well, today, we gave Roman a juice and a banana. Boy does he suck the juice down! He sucks it without stopping to take a breath really and just gulps it down. He always makes sure to get every last drop of it. Afterwards, he had to burp from drinking his juice so fast, I had to pat him on the back. Next he ate the banana, took a few huge bites, but I think he is beginning to understand when I tell him to take smaller bites. Then we played for a while in the play room. We took some pictures, at one point he came and sat in my lap on the floor without me calling him, it was touching to know that we have made some strides in connecting with our new son. About 20 minutes after he ate, we again asked him ‘Roman pee pee?’ ‘Roman toileta?’ and as I scrambled through my list of Russian Baby Talk found ‘pee-sat’ so then we asked ‘Roman pee-sat’ repeatedly and asked if he wanted to go outside. He finally jumped up and jabbering, headed for the door. I threw my shoes on and followed him. He was waiting by the restroom for me to turn the light on (it is outside the door about 6 feet from the floor). He did everything himself, so I waited and then came in to help him wash his hands. I was so proud of him! It felt like we made huge progress and I told him over and over ‘good job Roman’ and ‘mole ode yets Roman’. I thought ‘hallelujiah’, he understands us!

We went outside and headed to a playground, on the way there, he sees his friend from the other group and runs up and gives him a hug and a kiss. This is the dearest thing to see especially since they tell us he doesn’t have special friends in his group. We have learned from Roman that this child’s name is Iboule, I’m not sure how it’s spelled. We can clearly see he has had a cleft palate repair and has some other issues. We see Roman try to push this child when the this child tries to grab one of the balls so we scold Roman and then he gives this child the other ball.
At one point, I bring out the bubbles and am overwhelmed with Roman, Iboule and a girl that is in Iboule’s group as they start to grab the bubbles from me and yell ‘mine’ in Russian and try to grab the wand. But when I blow the bubbles, I see the joy in their faces from seeing all the bubbles floating away in the wind.
When it was time to leave, Galina helped us to explain to Roman in simple terms we won’t be here. She told him we had to go back home to work so we can save money for a ticket for him. When he left, he gave us a kiss and I gave him a big hug and told him ‘Ya tebya lou blue’ (I love you). It is so hard to be torn between 2 places. I’ve miss the girls so much but now it is hard to leave Roman. During our time here, I’ve worried about the girls, are they healthy, are they being good, are they eating well, etc.

As we return to the U.S. I have a mix of emotions. I will be elated to touch down on American soil and enjoy the conveniences and privileges we have there. I’m looking forward to some of my favorite foods, my comfortable bed, our house, spending quality time with the girls. But at the same time, a piece of me is left behind here, I will worry about Roman, will he be angry, will he be hurt, will he eat his food. I wish we could take him home now. Time will pass quickly for us though as we get back into the swing of things and also prepare for Roman’s arrival to our house. We have lots to do at the house. Lots of babyproofing because although he is 3 ½, he is emotionally delayed from living in the orphanage. He will get into everything because it is all new. We will work on his new room and work on preparing the girls and ourselves for the newest member of our family.

Tonight we enjoyed eating dinner in the company of our neighbors who we have befriended, the single mom has only been visiting her baby girl a short time and they are waiting to hear when she and her mother can leave. We ate at the Guns & Roses pub attached to the hotel. We’ve eaten here a few times and some of the burgers and sandwiches we’ve had have been good. It was nice to have some camaraderie with some other Americans during this process.

Thursday, July 2nd

2009-07-02T02:08:00.000-07:00

We had another great day of bonding with Roman. He seems to understand that at some point he will be getting on a plane. I think he will be okay when we leave as he has seen other children go through this and he is very smart. Only one more day left. I'm sitting at Coffeedelia trying to recount our day but am almost out of power on our laptop. The price for the wi fi at the hotel just went up $20 so we are trying to conserve our resources. This might be my last post before our return to USA. We are looking forward to spending quality time with our family and enjoying some good food.

Wednesday, July 1st

2009-07-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

Today, we brought the apples and bananas we bought at the market to Maigul. We brought 12 big apples, 1 for each of the children in his group and also a small bunch of bananas. The apples cost $10, can't remember how much the bananas cost. When Roman saw the apples, he refused to come in the visiting room. Maigul ended up giving him one of each so that he would come see us. He gobbled up the banana and started on the apple, Galina told him to not eat it all or he would get a stomach ache, so he ate half and we put it out of the way. He started playing and getting too rambunctious with some somersaults and must have had a pain, he came right to me for comforting and let out a belch! We brought balloons to blow up, but they lost his interest pretty quickly. He is mostly interested in balls and cars. We ended up going outside for a little bit and he interacted with one of the kids from the 'other group'. Although he doesn't have any special friends, I've seen him be really sweet with this child. Roman is pretty darn smart, he knows this child is not a threat to him and it's okay for us to be there.

After our visit, we went back to our hotel and finished watching 'John Adams' that a friend lent us. It was really good, I highly recommend it. We took naps and then around dinner time walked about 15 minutes to the American Bar on Kuneav (sp?) street to meet the other adoptive mom and her mother for dinner. They have a great menu, mostly American type food, this is the 2nd time we ate there. This time I ordered the chicken fingers and fries...very tasty! We all got a ride back to the hotel from one of the drivers.

Happy Birthday to our oldest!

2009-07-02T01:45:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to our newest 7 year old. Olivia's birthday was on July 1st.

This is for Lea

2009-06-30T04:21:00.000-07:00

Lea is a mom who recently adopted her son from the same Babyhouse. She loves this supermarket at Maxima and the restaurant called Mama Mia.

Tuesday, June 30th

2009-06-30T01:12:00.000-07:00

Entering the home stretch of our bonding period. Roman was rather calm today when he first came in the play room. We tried to play with various toys, he wasn't so interested in the macaroni today. I brought stacking cups, he just tried to play with some of the toys already there. There's a plastic infant phone that makes annoying noises that he likes to play with. He seems really bright and is interested in trying to figure out how things work, like that plastic phone or our camera. Sometimes he gets interested in learning the English for a few of the colors and at these times, I can see his eagerness. Other times, he gets distracted from one activity to another, but I think this can be attributed to his age too, we will see as he gets older. Oh, at one point, he found our hand anti bacterial bottle from Bath and Body. At first he didn't like the smell, but then he started rubbing it on his legs and even his face. We couldn't get him to stop and I kept telling him 'ha va teet' which I think means 'that's enough'. We had to hide it and he kept asking 'gde?' which is 'where' in Russian. And boy, he got mad, he is strong willed and he kind of stomped around...somehow we got him distracted with something else.

He loves bubbles and when he saw the bubbles Galina gave me, he went wild over them. He ended up spilling the little bottle of bubbles I bring. Tip for those who bring bubbles for older children....bring a small bottle and refill it at the hotel. He always wants to do it himself but inevitably, it all gets spilled out so I always insist on holding the bottle while he blows bubbles.

Whenever we go outside and his group or the other group his age comes outside, he wants to avoid them. I think he is worried we will take another child home instead. Maybe he has seen other kids leaving with their parents or even children being returned.

Here is a family picture:

And here is a picture with our translator, Galina. She is so sweet and so great with Roman, telling him to sit up when he is eating and making sure he knows that I'm his mama and gently scolding him when he has taken too big of a bite of the banana we gave him.

After our visit, Galina went with us to the Green Market so we could buy the flat bread I am now addicted to and to buy some fruit for the babyhouse. She also took us to the chocolate shop inside which sells the locally made chocolate by the brand name of Paxat (means pleasure).

I guess I never blog about the girls except that I miss them! So since someone asked, they seem to be doing well, except they do miss us. We talk to them usually in the morning when we are getting ready and in the evening before we go to bed. Their grandma says usually they are so busy with activity during the day that they don't miss us till it's later in the day. Sometimes we do video Skype so we can see each other too. My in-laws have been taking care of them and their cousin has been there helping to occupy their time. We are so grateful they could all come help with the girls. Olivia was going to theater camp for the last 4 weeks which ended in a performance last Thursday (which we sadly missed) and Claire has been going to summer preschool 3 days a week in June, this being the last week. I also set up a few play dates for the girls. Some other things they have done is our local museum, the La Brea Tar pits, the Museum of Natural History (both of these down in Los Angeles), our local zoo (kind of a zoo, very small), swimming in our pool, and going to the movies...they just saw 'Up'. Olivia's 7th birthday is on Wednesday and they will all be going to the big pizza place in town to celebrate. We will have a swimming party to celebrate Olivia's birthday after we get home. And in just 4 days we will be reunited with them!

More pictures

2009-06-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more pictures of Roman. Right now we call him Roman because that's his name. When we get home, we are thinking of using both names and we will see what happens. We like his given name and we like Nicholas. I thought he might want a new name for his new life or maybe he'll just keep his same name. We thought Nicholas is a nice name and could be a variation of a Russian name.

From our first day of bonding, I'm showing him pictures of our house.

Learning some colors in English.

Building something with Papa.

A couple of action shots, he will be a 'futbol' player for sure, he has a really powerful kick.

Monday, June 29th

2009-06-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

Day 9 of bonding? I lost count. On the way to the babyhouse, we stop at the big supermarket to stock up on water, snacks, and some fruit that we plan to give to the babyhouse in case Roman is getting extra fruit. We bought a few apples.

It was raining this morning when we got up, so we thought 'oh, no, what are we going to do with Roman and his energy if we can't go outside?!' We were worried how we would occupy our time. Today was a good day though, Roman was having a calm day. He was eating an apple when he came into the playroom, so we just waited patiently for him to finish. We started off with sorting macaroni by size into 2 coke bottles. Then I drew some pictures for him, he loves this yellow truck, so I drew a picture for him.

He kept peeking into the bag I brought in to see what is in there and found a banana we got for him. Galina had it cut in half for him so he wouldn't spoil his lunch. I had to hide the other half in my purse. After he gobbled this down, he found some plastic animals we bought last week at the Green Market that included a shark...he loves sharks and fish. So this occupied our time for quite some time. Other activities we did, include rolling the beach ball around, and playing with some other toys from the shelves.

After the babyhouse, we went to TSUM to shop for some souvenirs. It seems to have the best variety of souvenirs and we always ask for a discount. The souvenirs can be found on the top at the 3rd floor.

Introducing Nicholas Roman

2009-06-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite pictures of Roman, he loves this ball we got for him. Usually after we take a picture, he likes to look at the camera and see the picture. We just bought this outfit for him here at the Green Market, it's labeled 12-18 months, but he might be more a size 2 or 3 in the US.

Saturday, June 27th

2009-06-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

Day 8 of bonding and one more week till we return home! We start off in the playroom; Roman comes in with a banana and gobbles it down. We play for a little bit but we see he is wound up so we head outside. He is distracted by the apple trees and tries to eat an apple. We and Galina and Maigul scold him and tell him no, that they are bad to eat. We try to distract him, but he again, grabbed an apple. It was just us so we tried to tell him ‘nyet’ (Russian) and ‘jocque’ (Kazak) but he is ignoring us. We have to physically take the apple away. It’s a difficult moment because we don’t know the best way to discipline him and he doesn’t understand us. We don’t want the workers see we don’t discipline and we don’t want them to see we would give in, it’s very awkward and frustrating especially for hubby. We know these are issues we will have to work with him at home. There will be issues with food and with sharing things with the girls. Maigul comes out with a big apple just for Roman. He loves fruit, especially apples and he always seems hungry. We were given Roman’s schedule today and what they eat. They really do eat a lot of food throughout the day. The babyhouse is required to feed them every 4 hours and they even give snacks, but it’s all on a very rigid schedule.

We go back in the play room so Roman can eat his apple. We wait for him to eat his apple and then decide to try to show him pictures or video of the girls. He doesn’t understand what a sister is or even what is a family and I am determined to show him he has sisters. We attempt to get the computer out and show pictures but it backfires. He has likely never seen a computer and wants to touch everything. I guess this is a lesson for us, too. At least we show him pictures of him with us and we try to show him pictures of Olivia and Claire, but to him, they are just girls. I just worry about how we will all adjust when he comes home. It’s so hard. Right now we are still getting to know Roman and our love is slowly growing. When we first met him, we felt a kind of love that you feel towards any child you would see that you think is cute. It takes time to get to know him and learn to love him as a son. Like any child, he will have different moods and will have good days and bad days. Right now, he only spends time with his Mama and Papa; he will be in for a shock when we bring him home. Maybe he will think he is trading in his big ‘group’ for a smaller one?

Today at the end of our visit, we got to see where he lives, eats, and sleeps with his ‘group’. They live in 2 rooms, a play room which is also where they eat and a bedroom with small beds lined up in rows. We were allowed to stay and watch them eat lunch. They got a lot of food! At first they are given a bowl of soup with potatoes and meat and a basket of bread, maybe this is their biggest meal of the day. They were then given a drink that is called ‘compote’ which is liquid from boiled fruit, like apples and another plate of food which had vegetables, pasta and ground meat. All the kids eat very quickly. One of the newer younger kids falls asleep at the table, but the caregiver gets her attention and wakes her so she can eat. Roman ate almost everything; he just left most of the pasta. In his group, there are about 11-12 kids from around age 2-4, most of them girls. Galina said she thinks none of these kids are available for adoption because they haven’t been relinquished by their parents. There is one other group of the same age, but they all have some kind of medical issue. I think the infants must live on the 2nd floor of the babyhouse.

Sigh. I'm missing the girls...

Friday, June 26th

2009-06-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today was day 7 of bonding. On the way we went to the big supermarket at Maxima to stock up again on water, snacks, etc. While at the Babyhouse, we try to get Roman to play outside because hubby is constantly sneezing in the play room. We kick the ball around outside and play with bubbles. Back in the playroom, we try making macaroni necklaces with Roman but that only keeps his attention for a few minutes. He did manage to make a small necklace. We also bring out a set of blocks we bought at the Green Market. The instructions which come with the blocks show a train. He gets excited about the train, but there is no train with this set and he is content to try to make a house. This keeps his interest for a short time as he tries to make a small house with the blocks. While outside, Roman’s attention is always caught by the ‘alma’ (apples) on the trees in the courtyard. He grabs one and tries to eat it, Galina and we tell him ‘nyet’ (no). When we get back in the room we bring out a small juice we bought at the supermarket and a small baggie with cookies which Galina brought. He is not as interested in the cookies…the boy loves his fruit, but he eventually eats them all. Galina says it’s common for the kids to overeat because they worry the food won’t be there and they don’t know what it’s like to be full.

After our bonding session, we return to the hotel for lunch in our room and a short nap. This is the point at which hubby blew out one of our converters (luckily we have a back up, but it’s at least 25 years old) and blew a fuse in our room. Since it’s warm and the fan in our room doesn’t work anymore, we decide to walk around and explore some. While exploring, we see some of the traffic lights out….hmmm, could this be from the incident in our hotel room? It caused quite a mess with the traffic which is crazy to begin with. We check out a couple of bookstores then we head back to the hotel. Luckily we finally are able to make a staff person in the hotel understand the problem in our room. A maintenance worker is summoned and quickly solves the problem.

After the other family returns from their babyhouse, we have Galina drop us off near Mama Mia for dinner as it was highly recommended to us. We were surprised we were offered real cloth napkins for a change! Every place we have been to, with the exception of Argento, only small squares of paper napkins are available. Guess us Americans are used to being messy! We shared grilled vegetables and a pepperoni pizza. The pizza was very thin and tasty. The walk back to hotel is a long one which takes us uphill. The wind picked up so at least it wasn’t hot. On the way, we stop in a store called Booking, which reminds us of a Borders or Barnes & Noble, with books, movies, and music.

Thursday, June 25th

2009-06-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

I took another walk to the Memorial Park and Cathedral this morning. I love walking around the park away from the fumes of the cars and in the shade of all the trees.

Here are some pictures from my walk:

Day 6 of bonding. Another great day. Last night we had a thunderstorm, it seemed to clear the air a little and bring us some cooler weather. We played indoor for a little bit, but then we had Roman try on a new shirt and his new cap. We wanted to go outside since it's nice weather. We had to discipline Roman a little because he threw his cap on the floor. I showed him the bubbles which he LOVES and motioned we go outside. I pointed to the cap he threw and told him don't throw in Russian. So he got the cap and put it on. I held out my hand for him to give it to me. Then I showed him the bubbles and we went outside. The 'boys' kicked the balls around on the playground, then Roman wanted to show us the apple tree. Then he wanted to eat the apples, so I distracted him with the bubbles. I tell him that Mama holds the bottle and then he blows the bubbles, he wants to do everything himself. He likes to make shooting noises when the bubbles hit the ground...he is ALL boy, let me tell you!

We left the one playground and started to head to another but he saw his group coming out, I don't think he wants us to be around his group, he tries to avoid them when we are with him. So we end up at another playground where there are 2 kids about his age but with health problems. One is playing in the playhouse and he is sweet with the other boy and gives him a kiss. He didn't like it when the other boy took one of his balls though. It will take time for him to learn to share when he gets home.

So for the rest of the time, we stayed outside with Roman, he had a good time.

This evening after we took afternoon naps, we checked out a couple of stores down the street from the hotel on Dostyk. Then we went to dinner at Assorti which Tatyana recommended. We both had the chicken shashlik which is like chicken kebobs and grilled vegetables. We walked around on Dostyk before going back to our hotel.

Wednesday, June 24

2009-06-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Day 5 of bonding. Today went well, I was really surprised that when Roman came in the room, he was finishing a piece of chocolate and finishing a whole apple. I guess it was a myth that the kids in the Babyhouses didn't get sweets! Roman gets totally wild while kicking the ball, and he could do this all day. So we brought a few other more calming things to do. We brought macaroni to put in an empty coke bottle. He would patiently put these in and then pour it out, at one point he even started making a design on the floor with the macaroni, but he's just not into art too much. We have this 'Parents' brand phone from when the girls were babies that he likes to play with, too. You can record something short on it. There is a play mat in the room so hubby decided to make a 'dom' (Russian for house) and we played house. We also each played hide and seek. He can get totally hyper when playing with the ball, but if we find something quiet that he likes, it will calm him down pretty quickly. We've also tried learning a few phrases in Russian that helps, such as, Ni na do (don't do this), Ni brra sigh (don't throw), mol ode yets (good job), horr oh shoew (great/wonderful), ha va teet (that's enough).

After our time in the Babyhouse, our translator, Galina, took us to the Green Market where there are bargains to be had, well, bargains to Almaty, anyway. Everything is really expensive here. We bought a couple of outfits for Roman to try for size. I think he is about 18 months-24T. We also bought a couple of toys. A small bag of building blocks and a bag of animals which includes a shark, he loves for us to draw sharks and fish. On the upper level of the market people sell all sorts of goods, clothing, lots of shoes, hardware, toys, hats, etc. The lower level has all the food stuff, herbs, counters of cabbage and other items to make a dish, fruit, nuts, meats, all kinds of meats. She took us by this one man's sausage counter and he gave us samples of different kinds of sausage and smoked meats, including horse. The smoked horse tasted like ham. She treated us to some meats and bought us a flatbread, I'm not sure what it is called here, but it was yeasty, with a very hard crust almost like a cracker. It was fun, I always love going to farmer market type places.

Bus stop:

McBurger:

Green Market upstairs where we bought some clothes and toys for Roman:

Green Market sausage/meat vendor:

More pictures of the Green Market:

The rest of the day was spent in our room and making a trip to the supermarket for more water and Coca light. You might wonder what we do in our room, most of the time, we are on the internet, taking a nap, talking to the girls, watching one of the dvds we brought (thanks to several friends who lent us dvds), reading or knitting (that would be me who is reading or knitting). Tonight we had a picnic with the sausage and smoked meat while we watched 'John Adams'.

Our 'picnic' dinner:

Here I am on the internet probably typing this!

Random pictures

2009-06-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

Some from the post office:

Look! They sell AVON at the post office!

Dima called this the 'chicken house':

Tuesday, June 23rd

2009-06-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

Today was day 4 of bonding. On the way there, Galina had us stop at the nice, big supermarket everyone likes. It has good prices. We bought water, Coca light, a wooden puzzle, couple of snacks and I bought dry pasta. I plan to use the pasta as a 'game' with Roman. I got this idea from another AP on a message board. I'm going to have Roman put the pasta in an empty Coke bottle just to work on fine motor skills and it's something kind of quiet to do in the play room.

It was a little tough today because I was really missing the girls and couldn't focus all my attention on Roman. I played a little, we worked on colors a little and I watched alot. The boy wore us out! Whew, he is a super active boy, I hope he slows down during the day. Maybe it's all the excitement of having the personal attention and toys to himself. About 5-10 minutes before 12, he said he was ready to go. It was time for his snack, I think he was hungry. Galina and/or Maigul make sure he always gives us a kiss before leaving and say 'bye' to us.

Some teaser pictures:

Driving around Almaty is an experience. We always have a driver for wherever we need to go. The drivers we've had have been great, very friendly, and helpful and the cars are nice and comfortable. However, I get carsick easily and I have been carsick every time I get in the car because the driving is crazy and it's always stop and go. The smells don't help either, there is alot of gas smells and car exhaust fumes. And I thought we had it bad back home!

On the way back to the hotel, we stopped at a post office for some stamps. We had postcards to mail to the girls, but they will probably receive them after we are already home! After this, I had to take a nap.

For dinner, we met with a single mom and her mother for dinner at Guns and Roses Pub which is attached to the hotel. They are actually neighbors and we often run into them at breakfast. It's nice to have some other people to talk with and share experiences. The chicken burger and fries were good, it was comfort food.

Monday, June 22nd

2009-06-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

This morning, I decided to take a long walk to try and keep up with my daily exercise. I walked over to the Memorial Park (not sure what exactly it is called) and near the Cathedral. It was a nice park with lots of flowers and lots of tall trees providing nice, cool shade. There are a couple of monuments, too, I can't wait to go back and take pictures.

We left for the Babyhouse a little after 9:30am. We brought a few new things for Roman to play with. I was so pleased to see we would be the only family there. You see, the last couple of times, there was a family with a baby and they would already have all the infant type toys laid out near a mat. It was hard to get Roman to focus on us with so much stimulation of all those toys. So, I think today went well on Day 3 of bonding.

On Sunday, we bought a couple of inflatable balls, a plastic playground Mickey ball, and a coloring book. Roman loved the Mickey ball so we started rolling it around between the 3 of us...it ended up in the air a few times. I brought out the coloring books and crayons as I was hoping to work on colors. On Saturday, Maigul helped me to teach him red, green, yellow, blue in English. He's really bright, I think he's got yellow down. Well, instead of practising colors, Roman wanted us to draw fish and sharks so we just did some pictues, he didn't even really color in the coloring book much.

He got tired of playing in the play room, so we went outside to one of the vacant playgrounds. It was a sad looking playground with lots of weeds and barely anything to play on, but it was perfect for perfecting his soccer kick and boy can this kid kick! He fell down a couple of times and brushed off his hands, I always approached him to comfort him. One time he fell and skinned his elbow, I immediately ran over to him. I heard this little cry and I scooped him up and kissed his elbow. He motioned for me to do it again so I kissed his elbow several times. I wish I could have held him longer, but he is so active! He is so tiny too. It's strange to look in his face, this face of a 3-4 year old but the body the size of a 2-3 year old. We are also not so used to a child so light.

Then Roman wanted to swing so he took us to another playground. As we walked over there, we walked by his group playing on one of the playgrounds. The kids kept calling him over "Roma!" "Roma!" and he proudly told them he was with his Mama and Papa. There were a couple more playgrounds that had some Little Tikes swings,slides and playhouses. He played on various equipments then we ended up in the little house (dom or domika in Russian). He invited me in and I went to the sink and pretended to turn on the water. He then did the sweetest thing, he took my hands and pretended to wash them and my face, too. Then I pretended to wash his hands. I eventually brought out a little bottle of bubbles and his eyes got big. Friday, the other family had bubbles in the play room but it ended up being a mess and they gave them to us with the battery operated bubble blower. Roman kept referring to the bubble blower as a pistol (as translated to us) so I will not be bringing the bubble blower again! Anyway, he tries to do the bubbles all by himself but I insisted on holding the bottle, then he did very well with the bubble wand.

After some time, we went back into the play room to play a little more till it was time for us to leave. It was nice to go outside and have him run around, but it was so hot after a while, I was glad to go back inside. There is a toy there that we started teaching him colors, so we played with that a bit. I'm not pushing as I know he will absorb the English when he gets home and it's hard work to learn so many new things.

On the way back to the hotel, we dropped off some laundry to be done. As far as I can tell, there are no coin operated laundry, just drop it off to be washed and dried at the cleaners. You pay by weight. Our laundry was 4 kilos and 5000 Tenge which is about $34. We can pick it up in 3 days.

So then we come back to the hotel and check emails and get online. I also did some hand washing of clothes which I may do more of instead of dropping it off, we shall see. We got pretty dirty on the playgrounds at the Babyhouse! Then we decided to explore a little since we have been spending too much time cooped up in the room. We walked around looking for some stores near the American Bar where Tatyana took us to lunch on Saturday. We eventually found them but everything looked rather expensive. We are hoping to make it to the Green Market this week where I've heard there are bargains to be found.

We ended up at a pizza place which is near the hotel, actually located on the opposite corner. Another family mentioned it was good. We ordered water, grilled vegetables and pizza (margherita). It was nice and not too expensive.

Pictures from our exploration:

Shopping at the Supermarket

2009-06-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

Just some interesting pictures from the supermarket at Ramstore.

San Antonio Spurs???? What??? No Mavericks?????!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 21st

2009-06-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Father’s Day!

Today, since the Babyhouse is closed to visitors on Sunday, we took an excursion toward the mountains. We went up to 5000 meters, Almaty is at 1000 meters. We passed a sports venue that is being renovated for the 2011 Asian World Games. We parked above the dam and walked/hiked down to the river that comes from the mountains. The water was freezing! We saw lots of people along the way enjoying the outdoors and it seemed as if some people were camping out near the river.

Afterwards, our driver, Dima, took us to the Ramstore which is like a small mall. There is a small food court, a small ice skating rink, some upscale shops and a nice supermarket. The toy store was extremely expensive so we plan to go to the Green Market/Bazaar this week to find items that are cheaper. We stocked up on water, Coca Light, some snacks and a few balls to bring to the Babyhouse. All in all, it was nice today to get out of our hotel room , enjoy the beautiful scenery and just walk around.

Here are some pictures from our excursion, but our camera can not capture the true beauty of the mountains and trees.

There were like a million ladybugs flying all over the place, I have never seen so many ladybugs in all my life!

Hubby with our driver this day, Dima.

Dima told us this is Kazakh tradition to make wish.

Tourist picture with national bird.

Ramstore

Small food court where I bought an ice cream from Baskin Robbins for 550 Tenge which is about $3.60.

Dinner on Saturday

2009-06-20T19:43:00.001-07:00

My hubby knew someone here that was an intern at his work several years ago so he contacted him when we decided to adopt a child from Kazakhstan. He is so hospitable that he invited us to dinner with his wife and his sister and brother-in-law. They are very young couples. They each have a little girl under the age of 1. If you are looking for a splurge while staying in Almaty, Argento Wine Bar is the place to go. It's walking distance to the Hotel Kazakhstan. It was the best meal we have had so far. It's very pricey though, fortunately, our friend treated us to the meal. It's very close to the Hotel Kazakhstan and you can probably walk there. They also have menus in English. Also should mention we finally tried horse meat there and it was good, if you get past the mental aversion.

My dinner, the sea bass...it was delicious, just interesting presentation.

Fanciest restroom in Almaty...

Saturday, June 20th

2009-06-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

Today was day 2 of bonding. Our son likes to just go to the play room and not outside because he likes playing with the toys, it’s a real treat for him. He likes this one green ball that has a texture to it and it squeaks. He likes the cars, too. Most of the toys are more geared for infants, but he figures out how to play and uses his imagination. I think he likes to see how things work too and if it’s broken he gets a little frustrated. He is used to playing by himself so it’s hard to interact with him and he is so busy with the toys. This is what they do at this age, they don’t want to just sit and be held like an infant, but I know times will come where we can do this. I know this all takes time for us to get to know each other.

There is another couple with a baby in the play room and he calls them Papa and Mama. This is what the children here call any woman or man because that is all they know. Maigul who is the chief caregiver constantly reminds him that WE are his Mama and Papa and tells him to give us a kiss goodbye. The kids in Babyhouse #2 are really well cared for, it’s great to see this in person. I’m looking forward to hearing more about his schedule and seeing where he sleeps, where he eats, etc.

I'm not ready to post pictures yet, just wanting to get more information and get to know our son better. His given name is Roman and we are deciding if we should keep that name as his first name, we do like it. But we wondered if he would want a new name. We will definitely keep this name as either his first or middle name. We haven't decided on another name, yet.

Here are pictures we've taken at the supermarket and some things we have bought:

We are now a 'Party of Five'

2009-06-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today was our first day of bonding with our son. He was pretty shy at first and it was awkward at first because of the language barrier. As time went on, we found ways to play with him. I'm so glad they have the bonding period here, I couldn't imagine just taking a child home after only one meeting. I know it will take a long time to get to know him, but at least this is the beginning.

Oh and it's also our 10th wedding anniversary! What a gift!

Thursday, June 18th

2009-06-19T03:31:00.000-07:00

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

This morning we felt as if things will happen the way they are supposed to happen and we just have to trust the process. Tatyana came for us in the morning and took us to the Babyhouse to see child #2 again and get additional medical information.

As we were finishing up, one of the workers walked in the door with a shy little boy behind her and brought him to the table with the toys. Tatyana started telling us this little boy just came off the registry. {Children have to remain on the local registry for local adoptions only for 6 months} He is 3 ½ which is older than we wanted as we hoped for a child under 2 and he is Russian so he looks more like me. I went over to try to talk to him and play with him a little, he was so shy but so cute, too. He has fair skin, reddish/strawberry blond hair and green eyes I think. We learned that he has learned Kazak in the 8 months that he has been at the Babyhouse so he speaks Russian and Kazak.

After we left the Babyhouse, we ended up at the supermarket and told Tatyana that we would think about this little boy. We thought about it, we worried about it and ultimately decided to start bonding with this little boy. I had been in contact with a couple of moms that adopted ‘older’ children and know it is hard to find families to adopt them. We know it will be so hard in the beginning but so worth it to have this little boy join our family.

When we started this process, we had a picture in our head of how things would turn out and what our child would look like. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you expect but it is the way it is meant to be.