Home at last!

We finally arrived home after about 28 hours of travel. Well, we're not home, yet since we are celebrating the 4th of July weekend with family, but we are in California at least. So glad to be in the good ole U.S.A.! Before our next trip, we will spend the next 4-5 weeks spending much needed quality time with the girls and getting ready for Nicholas Roman.

Friday, July 3rd

Today, we had our last day of bonding with Roman, and it was a sad grey day. It’s hard to think about leaving him and I worry how he will be, I hope the time passes quickly for him. Today was a really great day for us. During the time we have spending with him, we have learned a lot about his life here. One of the things we learned is his strict schedule, which includes even toilet habits. During the bonding period, he has had a couple of accidents, partly due to our inability to understand him when our translator steps away. We also learned that after the kids eat, the caregivers make all the kids sit on pots about 15 minutes after each meal or snack. So Thursday, after we gave Roman a juice and a few cookies, we waited about 20 minutes, then we attempted to get his interest in going outside. Galina, our translator, had just stepped away, and we kept telling him ‘toileta’ and gesturing and cajoling. Thankfully Galina arrived as Roman was about to begin a full-fledged tantrum after seeing the bubbles. She gently reminded him of his accident just the day before and told him we were giving him the choice of going outside AFTER he goes to the toilet or staying in the room. Galina took him to the restroom and I stood just outside the door watching.

Well, today, we gave Roman a juice and a banana. Boy does he suck the juice down! He sucks it without stopping to take a breath really and just gulps it down. He always makes sure to get every last drop of it. Afterwards, he had to burp from drinking his juice so fast, I had to pat him on the back. Next he ate the banana, took a few huge bites, but I think he is beginning to understand when I tell him to take smaller bites. Then we played for a while in the play room. We took some pictures, at one point he came and sat in my lap on the floor without me calling him, it was touching to know that we have made some strides in connecting with our new son. About 20 minutes after he ate, we again asked him ‘Roman pee pee?’ ‘Roman toileta?’ and as I scrambled through my list of Russian Baby Talk found ‘pee-sat’ so then we asked ‘Roman pee-sat’ repeatedly and asked if he wanted to go outside. He finally jumped up and jabbering, headed for the door. I threw my shoes on and followed him. He was waiting by the restroom for me to turn the light on (it is outside the door about 6 feet from the floor). He did everything himself, so I waited and then came in to help him wash his hands. I was so proud of him! It felt like we made huge progress and I told him over and over ‘good job Roman’ and ‘mole ode yets Roman’. I thought ‘hallelujiah’, he understands us!

We went outside and headed to a playground, on the way there, he sees his friend from the other group and runs up and gives him a hug and a kiss. This is the dearest thing to see especially since they tell us he doesn’t have special friends in his group. We have learned from Roman that this child’s name is Iboule, I’m not sure how it’s spelled. We can clearly see he has had a cleft palate repair and has some other issues. We see Roman try to push this child when the this child tries to grab one of the balls so we scold Roman and then he gives this child the other ball.
At one point, I bring out the bubbles and am overwhelmed with Roman, Iboule and a girl that is in Iboule’s group as they start to grab the bubbles from me and yell ‘mine’ in Russian and try to grab the wand. But when I blow the bubbles, I see the joy in their faces from seeing all the bubbles floating away in the wind.
When it was time to leave, Galina helped us to explain to Roman in simple terms we won’t be here. She told him we had to go back home to work so we can save money for a ticket for him. When he left, he gave us a kiss and I gave him a big hug and told him ‘Ya tebya lou blue’ (I love you). It is so hard to be torn between 2 places. I’ve miss the girls so much but now it is hard to leave Roman. During our time here, I’ve worried about the girls, are they healthy, are they being good, are they eating well, etc.

As we return to the U.S. I have a mix of emotions. I will be elated to touch down on American soil and enjoy the conveniences and privileges we have there. I’m looking forward to some of my favorite foods, my comfortable bed, our house, spending quality time with the girls. But at the same time, a piece of me is left behind here, I will worry about Roman, will he be angry, will he be hurt, will he eat his food. I wish we could take him home now. Time will pass quickly for us though as we get back into the swing of things and also prepare for Roman’s arrival to our house. We have lots to do at the house. Lots of babyproofing because although he is 3 ½, he is emotionally delayed from living in the orphanage. He will get into everything because it is all new. We will work on his new room and work on preparing the girls and ourselves for the newest member of our family.

Tonight we enjoyed eating dinner in the company of our neighbors who we have befriended, the single mom has only been visiting her baby girl a short time and they are waiting to hear when she and her mother can leave. We ate at the Guns & Roses pub attached to the hotel. We’ve eaten here a few times and some of the burgers and sandwiches we’ve had have been good. It was nice to have some camaraderie with some other Americans during this process.

Thursday, July 2nd

We had another great day of bonding with Roman. He seems to understand that at some point he will be getting on a plane. I think he will be okay when we leave as he has seen other children go through this and he is very smart. Only one more day left. I'm sitting at Coffeedelia trying to recount our day but am almost out of power on our laptop. The price for the wi fi at the hotel just went up $20 so we are trying to conserve our resources. This might be my last post before our return to USA. We are looking forward to spending quality time with our family and enjoying some good food.

Wednesday, July 1st

Today, we brought the apples and bananas we bought at the market to Maigul. We brought 12 big apples, 1 for each of the children in his group and also a small bunch of bananas. The apples cost $10, can't remember how much the bananas cost. When Roman saw the apples, he refused to come in the visiting room. Maigul ended up giving him one of each so that he would come see us. He gobbled up the banana and started on the apple, Galina told him to not eat it all or he would get a stomach ache, so he ate half and we put it out of the way. He started playing and getting too rambunctious with some somersaults and must have had a pain, he came right to me for comforting and let out a belch! We brought balloons to blow up, but they lost his interest pretty quickly. He is mostly interested in balls and cars. We ended up going outside for a little bit and he interacted with one of the kids from the 'other group'. Although he doesn't have any special friends, I've seen him be really sweet with this child. Roman is pretty darn smart, he knows this child is not a threat to him and it's okay for us to be there.



After our visit, we went back to our hotel and finished watching 'John Adams' that a friend lent us. It was really good, I highly recommend it. We took naps and then around dinner time walked about 15 minutes to the American Bar on Kuneav (sp?) street to meet the other adoptive mom and her mother for dinner. They have a great menu, mostly American type food, this is the 2nd time we ate there. This time I ordered the chicken fingers and fries...very tasty! We all got a ride back to the hotel from one of the drivers.

Happy Birthday to our oldest!

Happy Birthday to our newest 7 year old. Olivia's birthday was on July 1st.

This is for Lea

Lea is a mom who recently adopted her son from the same Babyhouse. She loves this supermarket at Maxima and the restaurant called Mama Mia.

Tuesday, June 30th

Entering the home stretch of our bonding period. Roman was rather calm today when he first came in the play room. We tried to play with various toys, he wasn't so interested in the macaroni today. I brought stacking cups, he just tried to play with some of the toys already there. There's a plastic infant phone that makes annoying noises that he likes to play with. He seems really bright and is interested in trying to figure out how things work, like that plastic phone or our camera. Sometimes he gets interested in learning the English for a few of the colors and at these times, I can see his eagerness. Other times, he gets distracted from one activity to another, but I think this can be attributed to his age too, we will see as he gets older. Oh, at one point, he found our hand anti bacterial bottle from Bath and Body. At first he didn't like the smell, but then he started rubbing it on his legs and even his face. We couldn't get him to stop and I kept telling him 'ha va teet' which I think means 'that's enough'. We had to hide it and he kept asking 'gde?' which is 'where' in Russian. And boy, he got mad, he is strong willed and he kind of stomped around...somehow we got him distracted with something else.

He loves bubbles and when he saw the bubbles Galina gave me, he went wild over them. He ended up spilling the little bottle of bubbles I bring. Tip for those who bring bubbles for older children....bring a small bottle and refill it at the hotel. He always wants to do it himself but inevitably, it all gets spilled out so I always insist on holding the bottle while he blows bubbles.

Whenever we go outside and his group or the other group his age comes outside, he wants to avoid them. I think he is worried we will take another child home instead. Maybe he has seen other kids leaving with their parents or even children being returned.

Here is a family picture:


And here is a picture with our translator, Galina. She is so sweet and so great with Roman, telling him to sit up when he is eating and making sure he knows that I'm his mama and gently scolding him when he has taken too big of a bite of the banana we gave him.


After our visit, Galina went with us to the Green Market so we could buy the flat bread I am now addicted to and to buy some fruit for the babyhouse. She also took us to the chocolate shop inside which sells the locally made chocolate by the brand name of Paxat (means pleasure).

I guess I never blog about the girls except that I miss them! So since someone asked, they seem to be doing well, except they do miss us. We talk to them usually in the morning when we are getting ready and in the evening before we go to bed. Their grandma says usually they are so busy with activity during the day that they don't miss us till it's later in the day. Sometimes we do video Skype so we can see each other too. My in-laws have been taking care of them and their cousin has been there helping to occupy their time. We are so grateful they could all come help with the girls. Olivia was going to theater camp for the last 4 weeks which ended in a performance last Thursday (which we sadly missed) and Claire has been going to summer preschool 3 days a week in June, this being the last week. I also set up a few play dates for the girls. Some other things they have done is our local museum, the La Brea Tar pits, the Museum of Natural History (both of these down in Los Angeles), our local zoo (kind of a zoo, very small), swimming in our pool, and going to the movies...they just saw 'Up'. Olivia's 7th birthday is on Wednesday and they will all be going to the big pizza place in town to celebrate. We will have a swimming party to celebrate Olivia's birthday after we get home. And in just 4 days we will be reunited with them!

More pictures

Here are a few more pictures of Roman. Right now we call him Roman because that's his name. When we get home, we are thinking of using both names and we will see what happens. We like his given name and we like Nicholas. I thought he might want a new name for his new life or maybe he'll just keep his same name. We thought Nicholas is a nice name and could be a variation of a Russian name.

From our first day of bonding, I'm showing him pictures of our house.


Learning some colors in English.


Building something with Papa.


A couple of action shots, he will be a 'futbol' player for sure, he has a really powerful kick.

Monday, June 29th

Day 9 of bonding? I lost count. On the way to the babyhouse, we stop at the big supermarket to stock up on water, snacks, and some fruit that we plan to give to the babyhouse in case Roman is getting extra fruit. We bought a few apples.

It was raining this morning when we got up, so we thought 'oh, no, what are we going to do with Roman and his energy if we can't go outside?!' We were worried how we would occupy our time. Today was a good day though, Roman was having a calm day. He was eating an apple when he came into the playroom, so we just waited patiently for him to finish. We started off with sorting macaroni by size into 2 coke bottles. Then I drew some pictures for him, he loves this yellow truck, so I drew a picture for him.



He kept peeking into the bag I brought in to see what is in there and found a banana we got for him. Galina had it cut in half for him so he wouldn't spoil his lunch. I had to hide the other half in my purse. After he gobbled this down, he found some plastic animals we bought last week at the Green Market that included a shark...he loves sharks and fish. So this occupied our time for quite some time. Other activities we did, include rolling the beach ball around, and playing with some other toys from the shelves.

After the babyhouse, we went to TSUM to shop for some souvenirs. It seems to have the best variety of souvenirs and we always ask for a discount. The souvenirs can be found on the top at the 3rd floor.

Introducing Nicholas Roman

This is one of my favorite pictures of Roman, he loves this ball we got for him. Usually after we take a picture, he likes to look at the camera and see the picture. We just bought this outfit for him here at the Green Market, it's labeled 12-18 months, but he might be more a size 2 or 3 in the US.

Saturday, June 27th

Day 8 of bonding and one more week till we return home! We start off in the playroom; Roman comes in with a banana and gobbles it down. We play for a little bit but we see he is wound up so we head outside. He is distracted by the apple trees and tries to eat an apple. We and Galina and Maigul scold him and tell him no, that they are bad to eat. We try to distract him, but he again, grabbed an apple. It was just us so we tried to tell him ‘nyet’ (Russian) and ‘jocque’ (Kazak) but he is ignoring us. We have to physically take the apple away. It’s a difficult moment because we don’t know the best way to discipline him and he doesn’t understand us. We don’t want the workers see we don’t discipline and we don’t want them to see we would give in, it’s very awkward and frustrating especially for hubby. We know these are issues we will have to work with him at home. There will be issues with food and with sharing things with the girls. Maigul comes out with a big apple just for Roman. He loves fruit, especially apples and he always seems hungry. We were given Roman’s schedule today and what they eat. They really do eat a lot of food throughout the day. The babyhouse is required to feed them every 4 hours and they even give snacks, but it’s all on a very rigid schedule.

We go back in the play room so Roman can eat his apple. We wait for him to eat his apple and then decide to try to show him pictures or video of the girls. He doesn’t understand what a sister is or even what is a family and I am determined to show him he has sisters. We attempt to get the computer out and show pictures but it backfires. He has likely never seen a computer and wants to touch everything. I guess this is a lesson for us, too. At least we show him pictures of him with us and we try to show him pictures of Olivia and Claire, but to him, they are just girls. I just worry about how we will all adjust when he comes home. It’s so hard. Right now we are still getting to know Roman and our love is slowly growing. When we first met him, we felt a kind of love that you feel towards any child you would see that you think is cute. It takes time to get to know him and learn to love him as a son. Like any child, he will have different moods and will have good days and bad days. Right now, he only spends time with his Mama and Papa; he will be in for a shock when we bring him home. Maybe he will think he is trading in his big ‘group’ for a smaller one?

Today at the end of our visit, we got to see where he lives, eats, and sleeps with his ‘group’. They live in 2 rooms, a play room which is also where they eat and a bedroom with small beds lined up in rows. We were allowed to stay and watch them eat lunch. They got a lot of food! At first they are given a bowl of soup with potatoes and meat and a basket of bread, maybe this is their biggest meal of the day. They were then given a drink that is called ‘compote’ which is liquid from boiled fruit, like apples and another plate of food which had vegetables, pasta and ground meat. All the kids eat very quickly. One of the newer younger kids falls asleep at the table, but the caregiver gets her attention and wakes her so she can eat. Roman ate almost everything; he just left most of the pasta. In his group, there are about 11-12 kids from around age 2-4, most of them girls. Galina said she thinks none of these kids are available for adoption because they haven’t been relinquished by their parents. There is one other group of the same age, but they all have some kind of medical issue. I think the infants must live on the 2nd floor of the babyhouse.

Sigh. I'm missing the girls...

Friday, June 26th

Today was day 7 of bonding. On the way we went to the big supermarket at Maxima to stock up again on water, snacks, etc. While at the Babyhouse, we try to get Roman to play outside because hubby is constantly sneezing in the play room. We kick the ball around outside and play with bubbles. Back in the playroom, we try making macaroni necklaces with Roman but that only keeps his attention for a few minutes. He did manage to make a small necklace. We also bring out a set of blocks we bought at the Green Market. The instructions which come with the blocks show a train. He gets excited about the train, but there is no train with this set and he is content to try to make a house. This keeps his interest for a short time as he tries to make a small house with the blocks. While outside, Roman’s attention is always caught by the ‘alma’ (apples) on the trees in the courtyard. He grabs one and tries to eat it, Galina and we tell him ‘nyet’ (no). When we get back in the room we bring out a small juice we bought at the supermarket and a small baggie with cookies which Galina brought. He is not as interested in the cookies…the boy loves his fruit, but he eventually eats them all. Galina says it’s common for the kids to overeat because they worry the food won’t be there and they don’t know what it’s like to be full.

After our bonding session, we return to the hotel for lunch in our room and a short nap. This is the point at which hubby blew out one of our converters (luckily we have a back up, but it’s at least 25 years old) and blew a fuse in our room. Since it’s warm and the fan in our room doesn’t work anymore, we decide to walk around and explore some. While exploring, we see some of the traffic lights out….hmmm, could this be from the incident in our hotel room? It caused quite a mess with the traffic which is crazy to begin with. We check out a couple of bookstores then we head back to the hotel. Luckily we finally are able to make a staff person in the hotel understand the problem in our room. A maintenance worker is summoned and quickly solves the problem.

After the other family returns from their babyhouse, we have Galina drop us off near Mama Mia for dinner as it was highly recommended to us. We were surprised we were offered real cloth napkins for a change! Every place we have been to, with the exception of Argento, only small squares of paper napkins are available. Guess us Americans are used to being messy! We shared grilled vegetables and a pepperoni pizza. The pizza was very thin and tasty. The walk back to hotel is a long one which takes us uphill. The wind picked up so at least it wasn’t hot. On the way, we stop in a store called Booking, which reminds us of a Borders or Barnes & Noble, with books, movies, and music.